Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Betrayed
Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML
I can fix him
Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Oh, hi Sharon!
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML
Friends?
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
Weird dude
Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
Never gonna give you up
Today, my crazy ex has scared off yet another great woman. Thanks to all the douchebags that use “crazy ex” as an excuse to for their own shit behavior, no one believes me that mine is legitimately crazy. I didn’t cheat or mistreat her, I left because of her control and jealousy issues. FML
Top comments
fmessiah 19
There is one thing worse, having a psycho, overbearing, controlling ex girlfriend who is the mother of your children.
DeathBunny218 37
Testicles are very sensitive, so If he were to suddenly grows a pair then that would make him even more vulnerable. If you want him to be tough then he should lose a pair. If you want him to be REALLY tough then he should grow a ****** -- those things can really take a pounding
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Comments (132)
dreamer2012 16
Ohhh that sucks!!!
linstar 13
Change all your passwords, the locks on your doors and if you own a pet rabbit - now would be a good time to have it live with a friend for a while...
Incredible_92 11
She'll get over it, just hope she doesn't get to you before she gets over you.
dreamer2012 16
Sounds like it may be too late for the OP, wish I knew what happened!!
FMLContinued 3
Well, at least he was smart enough to get rid of her! other FML's just complain about how much their lives suck because of their significant other. Like.. Really? xD
arttyruiz 7
Good luck OP, sounds like you're going to have a bad couple of weeks.
chlorinegreen 27
What do you need to know dreamer? Why they broke up? Or why she's crazy? I think the answer is in the question. Op I recommend setting up the ex with a sensitive, vulnerable guy. She would like that and get her off your back.
Sebastian_NG 17
OP must feel like Alan Harper right now
alikayanna 0
I don't think trying to set your ex up with someone else is ever a good idea. Especially if she is nuts!
sweetdreams20 0
Coulda been a man
KiddNYC1O 22
Cuz they rapin' errybody out here!
fish1806 0
Grow a pair...
DeathBunny218 37
Testicles are very sensitive, so If he were to suddenly grows a pair then that would make him even more vulnerable. If you want him to be tough then he should lose a pair. If you want him to be REALLY tough then he should grow a ****** -- those things can really take a pounding
chlorinegreen 27
I love Betty White haha
Jamialia 5
Wow that's original
markrs 0
Ohhhh, this is a process...first you gotta change your locks, warn your family and friends, have someone take care of your pet, possibly move out & change your name...oh! and you gotta get a new car too. Don't want her following you. Might as well change your name too. While you're at it, get a nose job and colored contacts. And the next time she comes around, you throw her off when she asks for you. Just say "OP's original name" doesn't live here and never has. She'll really go crazy then.
chubby_choco 17
Ah, Betty White quotes <3
fmessiah 19
There is one thing worse, having a psycho, overbearing, controlling ex girlfriend who is the mother of your children.
TPSerigne 9
Amen brother.
ninjaniki 0
You have just turned 19 a few months ago and have already decided you never ever want kids? :(
fmessiah 19
Well I wanted kid's, it's just you often do not find how crazy your partner can become, either that or you just don't see it until a certain point.
LoonyKev 0
#3, by the way you look there, seems like you talking from some sort of terrifying experience !
KingOfAmazing 9
Just because he had a vasectomy done, doesn't mean he can never have kids. The surgery is reversible, and the reversing of it is just as easy as the vasectomy itself. Also, if he's 19, I'm sure the vasectomy makes college much better. ;)
DocBastard 40
KingofAmazing- Just as easy to reverse?? You're a urologist now? The fact is that a vasectomy takes about 10 minutes and can be done under local anesthesia in the office. Reversing it, on the other hand, takes an incredibly skilled microsurgeon 3 hours to do under a high-powered microscope, and it's considered one of the most difficult procedures in medicine. Don't talk out of your ass, because when you do you tend to expose your ignorance.
cjwalsh86 0
I always look through the fml comments to see one from you DocBastard.
c_tuck 0
Also, even if it is reversed.... You are not guaranteed to be able to have children again. I have delt with plenty of people that had theirs reversed but they still were unable to have kids. Another thing. I'm sure he means that's what he PLANS to do considering you have to be a certain age (usually between 22-25) or have an illness that can be passed to your offspring in order to get them. SOME doctors will still do them but it's gonna cost a lot of money because insurance WILL NOT cover it.
ScubaSteve96 0
Then OP needs to stop going after psycho, overbearing, and controlling girlfriends.
UtterCatastrophe 4
My friend tried to get a vasectomy done, and the doctors said he had to be a minimum age of 25 before they could perform the procedure. So how did a 19 year old get one?
silentbutfunny 0
I read ozzy osbournes biography, and he had a vasectomy. Eventually Sharon wanted kids again, and they tried to get it reversed. Turned out it didnt work, but ozzy described the aftermath as like "a dry sneeze" every time he... You know... Choked the chicken
epicwaffles 7
Damnit Doc! Now i have to get used to looking for you by your new profile pic Dx
DocBastard 40
Waffles, it won't stay up for long. I'll be updating it again soon. :)
ilove80smetal 8
I've got worse... A psycho overbearing controlling ex girlfriend whose mother is also a psycho controlling nut who would stick up for her daughter through anything.
cetlawizard 15
When I had my V done @26 or 27 my doc said normally they don't do them unless you're @ least 35 & have 1-2 kids already or a medical/genetic issue you DON'T want passed to a child. I was already considered sterile but asked for it anyway just to be sure for my benefit & the fact 2 psycho exes of mine claimed to have gotten pregnant by me(1 with twins & the other supposedly miscarried later) it was all BS on their parts, but I'm glad I did it anyways (mom is bipolar & dad is schizophrenic & the other 5 of my siblings are 1 or the other or both...I, thankfully only have clinical depression)
Bladeofarzeal 6
Crazy gf's are the best :)
TPSerigne 9
This situation should have been avoided. Know someone before dating them.
ALpein 0
That's the point of dating someone. To get to know them.
AllSoul 23
When people start to date, they tend to hide their defaults until further on into the relationship. If she was to show her true colours from the start, she would die a lonely crazy cat lady.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
That's why I don't "date". All you get to know on one of those is the image of themselves the other person wants to present to you - usually a very superficial and downright made up version of who they wish they could be. I find just spending time as friends for a while tends to work way better. There's no pressure, so you actually get a look into their real character. However, its entirely possible not to know every part of someone for years. We're complex creatures, and oftentimes our ugliest colors show only under specific conditions, which may not present themselves for a long time.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Shes gonna start stalking you everywhere.
helloheaven 2
I guess hes a stud then
miserypoison 13
Restraining order.
GRgoldfish 19
I'm pretty sure piece of paper is not going to stop this one.
Wederoney 16
Is she by any chance the we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy girlfriend?
brianjman14 23
Whoa, dude, I actually didn't see your comment until I posted mine. Sorry, please don't think I copied you. >.
Wederoney 16
No worries bro ;-)
coutryboy19 0
I had a girlfriend exactly like that.
ohmandapants 17
Change all your numbers, get a restraining order, and pray that jail scares her enough.
BrittBritt1355 9
If she's phsyco I doubt that jail will scare her
thatoneguy3 0
How many numbers can you have?
cooLING 0
You could have a cell phone number and wait...what's that? Home phone number!
Clamcreepy 7
You really need evaluate the women you start dating and seriously put your foot down. let them know that you wear the pants in this relationship and in past relationships. You better get these females you meet in check before your "Man Card" expires.
TheNewGuy03 29
Or, alternately, you can let them know you don't wear pants at all* in relationships. *results may vary |the kid|
RedPillSucks 33
Both the pants and the "Man Card" can easily catch on fire when a psycho girlfriend is involved.
Pelreskovich 11
That goes without being said, luckily I've never had to experience it. I'm sorry OP!
MaskingTape 2
I've experienced it. It sucks. And i found out that despite paying to block them, you cant block iMessage so i had to disable that too.