Love: Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend...

By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 00:18 - Canada - Maple

Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 305

You deserved it 1 340

Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Best teeth in the game

When nature calls

By ReayHorse - 28/07/2016 16:02

Today, I ran into an old couple everyone has been avoiding in my small town. Four weeks ago, they accidentally posted a picture of their pierced junk on Facebook, and I was one of the unlucky people who saw the actual picture. I can't make eye contact with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 206

You deserved it 1 778

For the union makes us strong

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 20:06 - United States - Orange

Today, I found out that the owner of my workplace hasn't been paying any of the bills and that all 10 people on my crew and I will be losing our jobs in a matter of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 41

Respect should be earned

By sarah - 06/06/2020 20:00

Today, while out in public, my stepmom turned and screamed at me for a good while for “walking through a door before an elder.” People stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 204

Inspired

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 490

You deserved it 22 271

That one friend who changes once they're in a relationship

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my best friend and my brother are in love. I've been her friend for 10 years, and she’s an absolutely horny whore. She treats me like shit 25/8 now. If I hadn't become friends with her, they wouldn’t have met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 521

By frustrated - 22/01/2013 07:20 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 096

You deserved it 7 021

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 10:41 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 479

You deserved it 7 405

By Noname - 17/01/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 234

You deserved it 2 098

By Uhmm... - 13/05/2011 23:06 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 4 278

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 995

You deserved it 84 388

By mermaidkeels - 18/06/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 884

You deserved it 987

By stuck - 17/06/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 10 462

By ashamed - 22/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 140

You deserved it 4 279

Between a rock and a soft place

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 23:01

Today, it's our eighth anniversary. My husband has struggled for a while with erectile dysfunction, and tonight he decided it wasn't worth trying. So now, he's sitting at home, soft, while I'm eating Taco Bell in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 266

By Colleen - 18/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 735

You deserved it 22 471

By christous - 22/11/2008 04:42 - France

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 445

You deserved it 4 948

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 607

You deserved it 3 757

By hahasuckit - 25/12/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled "Yeah right." in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 290

You deserved it 5 285

They are that good

By m…… - 22/08/2021 18:01

Today, my daughter cried because she went to Sonic and they were out of tater tots. When I say she cried, I mean actual tears fell from her eyes. She’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 15:08 - United States

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 353

You deserved it 4 486

By WhyMe - 20/03/2011 17:42 - United States

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 542

You deserved it 4 297

Tinfoil hat wearers are everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/05/2020 20:00

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 616

You deserved it 7 452

By Phil - 28/05/2012 21:17 - Canada

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 511

You deserved it 3 224

By Anonymous - 11/07/2016 21:02 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my mom called me for dinner by saying, "We're going to eat Steph! I mean we're going to eat COMMA Steph! We're not going to eat you! Ha ha!" She thinks this joke is hilarious and has been doing it to both my dad and me every night since early June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 108

You deserved it 973

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 506

You deserved it 4 969

By Anon - 31/10/2009 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 12 130

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 8 662

By Kitty_Gem - 27/08/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, my mother told me I should think about quitting school. She explained that the reason was because she didn't want me to be more successful than my older sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 128

You deserved it 2 559

By Zak - 03/04/2009 02:12 - United States

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 91 655

By Asian - 07/02/2016 19:03 - United States - Clover

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 868

You deserved it 1 855

By nomoresbfun - 22/02/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 6 075

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, my brother spent the whole day making a harpoon out of an old Tiki torch to bring on vacation with us to Sauble Beach, and he plans on using this contraption. On the beach. With all of us there to watch. He's 17 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 184

By anon - 05/09/2016 08:17 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I gained the courage to talk to the guy I have a crush on. In a dying part of the conversation, I panicked and ended up asking him if he was gay. He replied no and seemed offended, so I quickly added, "You just seem a little gay sometimes, in a good way." He took more offense and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 782

You deserved it 11 492

By Charitable - 30/06/2014 05:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 509

You deserved it 8 824

Dad Jokes, part 36646

By JackSoda - 26/03/2020 17:01

Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 208

By Lesbian - 14/01/2017 10:00

Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 979

You deserved it 695

By aurelj1 - 03/08/2016 19:59 - United States - Colleyville

Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and am single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 066

You deserved it 1 021

By Anonymous - 27/07/2013 17:51 - Finland

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 8 742

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Top comments

pd2902 22

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:16

Probably time to start blocking her where ever you can, don't need no negativity in your life!:)

george_s_4 30

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:32

Block her everywhere and if she makes new accounts and keeps stalking you get the police involved

pd2902 22

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:16

Probably time to start blocking her where ever you can, don't need no negativity in your life!:)

PennyLane27 32

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 7:40

Block her, but document this and anything else shes said or done, in case you ever end up needing to get police involved. Document, document, document!!

Bitchesbecrazy12 5

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Wednesday 13 April 2016 18:05

Document indeed! Thanks for the advice :)

Xamry14 10

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:16

That would freak me the hell out.

amileah13 26

Monday 11 April 2016 12:18

If you can, block her. She's clearly obsessive and crazy and not worth your time even responding back to her. Good luck op

ruckfules85 34

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:18

You can block her if shes just bothering you on social media but if she starts to show up IRL then it's time to report her ass

TheHcwalker 20

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

countryb_cth 38

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:28

Yes because we all know that Facebook sends you a notification to let you know that said person is stalking your profile. I mean how could OP not know about being stalked...

foxpug 24

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:36

Is it opposite day, #5? If so, you have a wonderful heart filled with empathy and the world needs more people like that.

lexos 16

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:59

You must be a special kind of stupid

domolovesyoshi 33

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Monday 11 April 2016 13:36

She clearly stated that she didn't know the ex was stalking her until said ex contacted her about a pic from 2 years ago, your reading comprehension is bullshit

Myeyesbleed 15

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Monday 11 April 2016 15:59

id like to think hes being sarcastic... but from the exceptional intelligence factor thats running rampant around here its hard to tell now a days....

MD9 19

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:21

just watch your back, she might be behind you

MGC501 13

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:25

I know a lot of people already said it, but I think blocking her is the best move here...

george_s_4 30

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:32

Block her everywhere and if she makes new accounts and keeps stalking you get the police involved

logan00_fml 15

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 9:19

Boo

foxpug 24

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Monday 11 April 2016 12:33

Scary/creepy as that is, I'd reply with "because no one understands him the way I do." FYL, I'm sorry, OP. For the record, don't take my advice if you think she'll hurt someone. We don't want that one flying over the cuckoo's nest.

Bitchesbecrazy12 5

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Wednesday 13 April 2016 18:07

That's a great response idea xD And I don't think she's capable of actually hurting me, but then again, I don't know her very well (Only spoken to her once before)