Kids: Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't...

By Chin... uh.... - 10/05/2016 22:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 1 510

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 4 760

By mustabeendrugs - 14/10/2013 01:14 - United States - Tucson

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 271

You deserved it 3 716

By kaichennnxx - 17/03/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 247

You deserved it 31 949

By FML - 15/05/2012 19:02 - Finland

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 968

You deserved it 8 589

By ChickenBallsPlease - 28/01/2014 11:16 - United Kingdom - King's Lynn

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 576

You deserved it 16 642

We all hate cold callers

By Adrian - 03/02/2022 14:01

Today, while working at my call center, I took a phone call. The guy on the other line just yelled "FUCK YOU!" twice at the top of his lungs before hanging up on me. But of course, the phone agent is always at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 23/06/2014 19:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 690

You deserved it 6 040

By damniphone - 29/06/2013 05:31 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 099

You deserved it 8 703

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 17:38 - Ireland

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 163

You deserved it 23 559

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 03:26 - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 844

You deserved it 1 694

fushengyuan 20

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:26

FREEEDOM!!!!!

A1NoSauce 17

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:33

It's okay, OP. They're still pretty normal by American standards.

Comments

fushengyuan 20

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:26

FREEEDOM!!!!!

Marshallino 21

Wednesday 11 May 2016 21:25

That was epic.

bheaze 20

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:29

Messing with foreigners 101.

Ben_Dover831 19

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:30

Next time say ching chong ching ching shnabalaba ding dong.

Ben_Dover831 19

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:35

No... Ok I'll see my self out. :(

dlToTlb 10

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:41

delete this to save me from clicking dislike

Ben_Dover831 19

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:45

How do you delete comments on here I'm new to this

Hijacker101 12

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:31

They might have confused USA with Scotland.

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:16

I get it. The movie Braveheart.

LycanGod 27

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:29

nice reference

tj4234 35

Wednesday 11 May 2016 18:19

Nah, we don't phone people. We're too drunk for that.

A1NoSauce 17

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:33

It's okay, OP. They're still pretty normal by American standards.

embarass 14

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:42

Maybe they're making fun of America lol

Ben_Dover831 19

Wednesday 11 May 2016 11:56

They got it all wrong, they should have said MURICA!!!

LycanGod 27

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:31

MURICA FREEEEDOM!!

toolazytotype99 18

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:11

Maybe they just like Mel Gibson

ezrocks4u 29

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:19

'Least they didn't call you an "Amerifat"?

LycanGod 27

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:32

or American't even though AMERICA is a continent lol not a country

ABlindMan 17

Wednesday 11 May 2016 20:11

Can't tell if trolling or just stupid...

freddygasman 18

Wednesday 11 May 2016 20:32

maybe a bit of both

havahnegila 22

Wednesday 11 May 2016 12:33

At least it's not a bad word !

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 784

You deserved it 16 305

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 5 760

The Top

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 280

You deserved it 5 461

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 193

Today, there's a campaign in my country advertising natural dog food. Apparently, nobody amongst the creators speaks English. How do I know? The hashtag they came up with is #SimplyBarf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 94

Today, I found an eviction notice at the apartment my boyfriend and I share. I always give him my share of the rent, and he pays it. Or so I thought. He’s been using our rent money to shower his side chick with gifts and expensive dinners. The worst part? The girl is my 18 year-old sister. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 116

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 73

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 024

You deserved it 42 405

Same thing different taste

We all hate cold callers

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