Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Red scare
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Awkward
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
We all hate cold callers
Today, while working at my call center, I took a phone call. The guy on the other line just yelled "FUCK YOU!" twice at the top of his lungs before hanging up on me. But of course, the phone agent is always at fault. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML
Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML
Top comments
fushengyuan 20
FREEEDOM!!!!!
A1NoSauce 17
It's okay, OP. They're still pretty normal by American standards.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (42)
bornpatriot 11
FREEDOM !!! Shout back COMMIE ! the next time... Someone has to remind those guys after all.
TheLynx_fml 20
Wait it's not proper manners to do that?
microbemaster 17
They aren't wrong
ryand82 11
That's just funny
TisButAScratch 10
Wait, that isn't proper?
False_Stupidity 42
What's wong with that?
mypoverty 4
Really
Superbaker123 14
Nice username OP lol
CliffyB03 28
What? It's not normal to shout FREEDOM! Before ending a call? I've been doing it wrong for years
Neko_Atsume 11
I laughed wayy to ******* hard at this "Uh Greg... Grandma's dead. I gotta attend her funeral" "Oh no! I'm sorry for your loss" "Yeah.. I gotta go now, bye Greg" "Ok, bye. FREEEEEDOOOOOOOM"