Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
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Top comments
ThePieGuy0817 29
Well, at least he's creative.
MadlyInLust 5
It could work...
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Comments (103)
MadlyInLust 5
It could work...
happylappy 21
Apples work better and it would probably be a lot easier lol
HortonThelephant 15
"No son! Ya made your 1st mistake right there. You want to bore nice and deep like into the watermelon for that really smooth hit"
jkmartinjk 16
Clearly the idea of giving a kid weed but no bong, will suddenly make him an engineer, is entirely true...
Zebediabolical 43
For really creative smoking, make a pipe out of a frozen hot dog.
elgordogrande1 11
My favorite homemade piece was made out of a rubber ducky and some rubber tubing.
hellbilly205 17
My favorite, that me and my friends made back in the day was a pen tube and a socket
FMLMaximus 23
my favorite was one we altered. it was a metal one that comes apart in several different pieces. it had an aluminum tube that slid over the body with crappy sequins on it. we melted it off and wrapped it in hemp string. it was awesome and versatile. perfect for a bowl or gravity bong. someone stole it.
ratman775 27
Or he could just roll it into a joint...
ThePieGuy0817 29
Well, at least he's creative.
Original_Outcast 23
He's creative and didn't almost burn down the house!
zeuslovesyaoi 17
now lets all agree to never be creative again
Koalacatcher 9
I love watermelon!!!!!
peacefully84 19
I like the way he thinks!
Life_is_FML 22
Well it could be worse. I mean, he could've tried to carve it out of a mango!
narkill 13
WHAT AN IDIOT! EVERYONE knows that apples are the best.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Apples are best to make a pipe. They're too small for bongs.
omg36 7
Apples get clogged though, if you're gonna make a bong use an empty 2 litre, duct tape and a bowl.
fuzz97 23
I saw a picture of a bong made out of a pineapple once
ardencred 7
Pineapple Express!
iTerrorized 4
pineapple pipe... /r/trees anyone??
GuessWhatKids 13
/r/trees here... knew it'd be mentioned the second i saw fruit and weed in the same FML
Chumsword 8
Thats gonna get sticky icky icky.
CharresBarkrey 15
Is your name supposed to be Chums Word or Chum Sword? It's like PetsMart and PetSmart
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
I believe his name is Chum Sword, which if I'm not mistaken, is a very strange nickname for a penis. I thought I heard it all when I saw fap-stick.
ltaper11 20
That shows a higher state I thinking, but I got to say your life sucks
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Hey, it's all-natural ;-) he has the rest of the watermelon just in case he gets the munchies! Nice!
iAlissa 34
Even if he fails, look on the bright side - he has the rest of a watermelon to eat!
botanistjessica 24
Isn't that pretty much exactly what 9 said?
iAlissa 34
Yep. My bad.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
28 and 41 - Don't worry, it's all good in my neighborhood ;-) (P.S. I would avoid my neighborhood... Bad neighborhood :3)
TypoH 7
Would you rather walk in on your son smoking out of a bong OP?
Mr_Satan 11
C'mon now, that's why its an fml. The bong wasn't ready for the bud yet...