Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
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Top comments
Boston_4_Life 3
Shit happens
hoedang 3
haha if it looks like poo, smells like poo, is warm like poo, it's probably poo
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Comments (120)
Boston_4_Life 3
Shit happens
MasterE56 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why not pick it up with your mouth??
tygerarmy 35
Shit does happen, especially near a toilet. If it was on the tv or the counter I can see assuming it was a toy, or if your kid is a teen. But no matter where the shit was I'd use a bag.
silentbutfunny 0
Theres a certain beetle out there that will help clean up the dung……....….… dung beetle ftw
OAAS 0
Shit, OP, that really stinks.
Morgannnnuhhh 1
Wow...
vturbz91 0
Should put it under his pillow
nofearjenshere 12
To #10 - What the ****?!
nahgemoohc 17
There's a very distinct difference between human shit and toy shit. Just gotta figure out what it is, that's all.
megladon 0
its brock what did u expect
hoedang 3
haha if it looks like poo, smells like poo, is warm like poo, it's probably poo
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Or she could stop feeding her son plastic.
kjcookie10 9
You should pay more attention OP... Like the afore comment said.
silentbutfunny 0
Doesnt the first sentance pretty much clarifys that it is, in fact, poo?
silentbutfunny 0
Ok second sentance. Sheesh
Nightvenom 0
Even though the second sentence does mention poop this comment make sense if it looks like smells like it( pretty funny they didn't notice the smell) and feels warm ( poo is normally around your average body temperature so it would feel warm if you placed your hands close to it ( if anyone goes home and tries to debunk this YDI. Hope someone walks in on you trying to touch your own poo)
Nightvenom 0
It's probably poo your dealing with
quite_bored 9
38, sentance? Clarifys? What?
Nightvenom 0
The second sentence of the FML. Come on keep up with the game my friend.
DontForgetMe4 0
on the bright side, you didn't get scared by a cat and sit on the poop. *squish*
2ndSucks 15
Actually, I'd rather it be on my ass than on my hands. But I guess that's just me.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
I'd rather not even have to go through the hassle of pooing. With the dropping of the pant and the waiting.. Oh the waiting! And then there's the cleanup..
tylersign 11
Oh, but it was a trick. Think about it.
MaceFaceLOL 8
That "stinks"
Namerkp2 8
Must've put them in a pretty "shitty" mood for the rest of the day.
Vulpes21 6
NO
absolutegrrr 7
So does your "comment".
AssassinsCRB 0
no...... just no...,
QQMorePlox 18
You should put it on his pillow, see who got the last laugh.
Nanobytez 5
The son would still, the mother would end up needing to wash it.
QQMorePlox 18
Well thought ^
ravenxcorvinus 9
now this may be cruel and unusual punishment OP but i think you should slap him upside the head with your poo-covered hand..
GoW_Chick 15
OP: *squish* "Sweet Mary, mother of Jesus! Why did I pick it up?! I can't believe this shit!" *sniffs hand and gags*
Yak99 0
Okay
GoW_Chick 15
You know one word isn't much of a reply, and you know one word isn't even one word at all, it's two words, and two words is two words, but three words is still just two words. what the hell is going on?! aaaahhhhh! *has a nervous breakdown*
tylersign 11
Sorry.. Try again:/
GoW_Chick 15
Damn eight balls, just answer my freaking question!
muzy 23
don'tworry #12. I thought your comments were pretty amusing c:
nabila21 0
Most of your comments get thumbs down. ( I DON'T STALK U I JUST READ LOTTA COMMENTS!)
Fml_FTW228 10
How about you don't put actions with your sentences, and just comment. *Slaps GoW_Chick with a slice of pizza*
DarkRemorse 1
Well... Doesn't it smell like shit? Ydi
nattynatters 14
How did you not smell that?