Intimacy: Not now

Not now

By sexysue - 07/11/2009 22:22 - United States

Today, it was mine and my husband's anniversary. He was at work so I decided to dress up "sexy." You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother, who'd come by to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 088

You deserved it 5 756

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Same thing different taste

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 352

You deserved it 3 450

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 205

You deserved it 2 193

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 221

You deserved it 7 759

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 693

You deserved it 3 557

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 331

You deserved it 6 217

By SayCheese - 02/04/2013 22:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 010

You deserved it 72 287

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 18 036

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 621

You deserved it 2 744

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 210

By Bree - 23/09/2018 03:00

Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 190

You deserved it 314

gollygoshers 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:04

I think it's better to wear something revealing under something that COVERS IT UP. that's just common sense, which I greatly lack.

Drakon_fml 7

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:21

Coulda been worse. Coulda been your husband wearing the same things. How awkward!!

Comments

gollygoshers 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:04

I think it's better to wear something revealing under something that COVERS IT UP. that's just common sense, which I greatly lack.

Gstone5 0

Friday 23 April 2010 13:36

or just put a lock on ur door??

lovertolover 4

Monday 2 July 2012 2:00

I think it's cute that your birthday is on the same day as your anniversary!!! (I'm assuming :P)

rawr_ily96 24

Sunday 28 April 2013 6:46

When did OP ever mention a birthday? Her brother wished her a happy anniversary. -_- Next time, read the FML carefully.

LukeDog 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:05

dammit second so close

blland 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:12

what does your brother think he's got to do with your anniversary?

emilysanftwsom 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:14

he's probably happy for her.

xoluvinshayxo 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:22

no offense. but if i was your brother, i probably would have thrown up on you...

idoc300 11

Friday 30 May 2014 17:43

What if he was there for the incest festival?

notsocrafty 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:42

dear penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me...

CelineDeStar 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:45

Ummmmm.........WHAT?

kindness 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:03

um that's nice and all but YDI for not being more careful

omghehehe 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:10

Nice one!! ;) Ahhh, it's only your brother. He has probably seen and heard worse things before. Definitely not an FML.

Nyxity 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 4:39

totally; and plus, considering it's her brother, it's probably just another embarrassing sibling moment.

Drakon_fml 7

Sunday 8 November 2009 4:21

Coulda been worse. Coulda been your husband wearing the same things. How awkward!!

UmbreonKirby 14

Wednesday 30 October 2013 13:46

It could have been even worse...It could've been raining

picturetaker 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 5:14

How is he able to just barge in your house? I know my family usually knocks before they come in..

boreddoubletears 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 1:41

Maybe the door was cracked so he yelled her name; she thought it was her husband, so she said come in.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 182

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I agree, your life sucks 6 845

You deserved it 634

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 92

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I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 195

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I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 333

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I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 717

Today, while cleaning my vehicle at the car wash, the vacuum cleaner found a new purpose. As I twisted around, the mouth of the hose made its way down to my crotch and latched on. It definitely wasn’t painful, but I’ve now been sucked off by a vacuum. Best yet weirdest blow job ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 1 253

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 737

You deserved it 4 171

Not now

Same thing different taste

Jumping to conclusions

Expectations

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