Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
EffYoLife 14
well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)
EmmjayHEY 0
smooooooth
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Comments (102)
blakehilli8 0
first
EmmjayHEY 0
smooooooth
ruby29 0
FATL
WTSchool 0
^ EPIC FAIL.
EMTchic 14
57- no, you are an epic fail. FATL means "**** all their lives"
Sp1k3FML 14
It does? O.O
flyboy57 0
he may have dicked his boss, but did he get a promotion? if not, his dick didn't get him anything and your point is invalid. sucks for his gf though.
movies12 0
Well aren't you smart.
EffYoLife 14
well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)
chaos753159 4
or a FHL **** His Life cause you gave away the secret
k1w1 0
FATL (**** all their lives). they're all in a stickyy situation.
constantine91 0
**** his gf's life.
Skull_300 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You stupid ass!
Kreb 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Awwhhh Shit man!!! That really sucks for him, and was really stupid on your part
stonessm 2
Soooo... It sucks for him that OP accidentally ratted on him for cheating on his gf with his boss? This sounds more like a **** her life for having to learn of her boyfriends infidelity like that
Lonely_Lez 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI just because you aren't mature enough to type the word dick.
farsidee 0
Dick is mature? Wouldn't it be penis for mature?
awkwardturtley 0
oh my god please tell me you aren't seriously ydi-ing the op for censoring a word some people don't consider appropriate. way to be an asshole.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you mean assh*le
NarwhalLove 0
it is much more mature to censore or use the real word then some messed up slang
bogan35 0
well aren't you just a d*ck?
stupiddumbblonde 0
fail.
Subjectzero 0
FHL. lol.