Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML
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Top comments
drawmesunshine 17
In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.
fthislyfe 22
Still a better love story that twilight
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Comments (87)
drawmesunshine 17
In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.
hemz_fml 13
Looks like that makes two of you.
christyxbee 15
At least he's thoughtful!
M0rt 0
If he lived in Alabama I might have to disagree with you
AngrehPirate 0
48 - wouldn't thoughtful be remembering the birthday of the girl, not the first time he went down on her. O.O
nalia18 8
This is both sad and creepy because the fact he remembers these things and not your birthday makes me wonder if he remembers past relationship's birthdays... Ew
forestfrost 4
Ya know 63, being as I am from Alabama, I have to say that is not true. Now what they do next door in Mississippi you can freely question
RadPenny 6
I read the first and asked myself if it got worse :/ sorry about your bf problems.
amberbby69 6
How sweet!
blushy 14
i would have dumped his ass for forgetting my birthday
perdix 31
Then he forgot your ******'s birthday, too (unless you are transsexual). What he did remember was his tongue's anniversary with your ******. Do they make a greeting card for that?
Cobro 5
Hallmark might have one in their 'deadbeat boyfriend' section.
perdix 31
#9, No, I know they have belated birthday cards for deadbeats of all stripes. I meant do they have anniversary cards for pussy-eating, ****-sucking, butt-*******, etc? If not, I smell an opportunity!
crimsonprodigy 15
Billy Mays here with new revolutionary anniversary cards for pussy-eating, ****-sucking, butt-******* for all your kinky celebrations. It could work, if the poor guy was still alive :/
jonriise18 3
Might be a better commercial for the other dude who punched a hooker.
stewy78 2
That may not be an opportunity you smell, it could be cooch funk
bnutts 4
I see scratch and sniff cards about this coming in the future.
d3sigN8t3dDruNk 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So? At least he remembered something! Girls put too much pressure/expectations out of men as it is. Were always on pins and needles. You would forget to.
fthislyfe 22
Oh shut up
Swiftly 0
*Too
dcg1375 7
*We're
chickenwalrus 14
Not bad.
USMC_Cpl 5
What the **** is in your picture?!?!
Swiftly 0
I cannot unsee that picture
Dark__Angel66 24
We should thumb him down just to get rid of it.
crimsonprodigy 15
Whoever photoshoped that is good 0_o
MerrikBarbarian 9
It's from an art exhibit. I've seen a few other pics from it around. It's polymer clay not photoshop. The artist is Patricia piccinini. The more you know!!!
fthislyfe 22
Still a better love story that twilight
elena96 0
Twilights way better!
elena96 0
Twilights awesome
drawmesunshine 17
Case in point.
drawmesunshine 17
Well.. Not really, but it's not like a Twilight fan would know.
AssassinsCRB 0
Twilight sucks more balls than a **** star
David199619 8
Where did my comment go?
burtonbullet 10
Don't turn around, you'll scare it away!
karkid619 8
Up your ass.
Skyrim123 3
Down in history
angrymexican 8
Behind you ear.
Mannie27 0
That's disturbing. You should slap some sense into him
Lauren324 18
At least he went down on you!
shadexilmaendu 4
Haha, would you stay with a guy who wouldn't go down on you? I probably wouldn't :p
Lauren324 18
Me either :p
Anglar 5
Hmmm.... And yet a lot of girls would say a guy is an asshole if he broke up with a girl because she wouldn't give him head.
drawmesunshine 17
I would never break up with a guy for that. People have boundaries which ought to be respected. Example: fornicating in a vat of hamburger meat surpasses my boundaries, and my fiance would never break up with me over that because he respects me.
downtime 13
79, Then clearly if this is something he needs in the relationship then breaking it off is the best thing for him. I doubt he would be your fiance if you didn't satisfy his needs. Yes, guys would be called assholes for this, unlike the women here who all seem to be thumbed up. This doesn't mean any guys would be wrong for doing this though, rather it just shows how ****** up your opinions are of men in relationships.
drawmesunshine 17
If a little tongue action is that important and you care enough about your partner, the best course of action would be to work with your partner to expand their horizons.
Lauren324 18
Treat people how you would want to be treated.
afunnyterdcody 5
I wouldn't go anywhere witchu though
ohSNAPyall 27
79: Your point is decent, but your example is ludicrous. How do you compare a very common sexual act with a made-up taboo that violates serious health and safety standards?
Snafuusmc 12
Did he get a present for your ******? (balloons,candy,or worse?)
japtch 15
His tongue?
burtonbullet 10
Flavored condoms. Protection and candy in one pain in the ass package to open!
ScarletBloom 14
He loves your virginal more than you. Be careful when you break up with him. He may cut it away.
Sinamoi 18
The ****?
lambent 0
The hell is a virginal?
missyj0 12
Her Engrish berry powderful.
drawmesunshine 17
30, an arsenal of virgins.
Swiftly 0
Don't worry, I love virginals too.
dudeman1212 22
I think she said the guy will cut her virginal off.
dudeman1212 22
I think she said the guy will cut away at her virginal.
rinse087 0
A dead Lois?