Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML
Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML
Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Bonerific
FalconCrunch 4
Are you hideous? It could be the zombie apocalypse he was referring to.
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Comments (137)
bettyc4 26
Bonerific
moop256 10
But you see he never specified what was starting for all op knows he might have just used his remote starter to start his car...
Happybooger 4
Yes you are!
bettyc4 26
Perceptionrific ;D
moop256 10
I'm not sure if 1 should take that as a compliment or an insult considering you call yourself happybooger
bettyc4 26
I consider it another thing to laugh at ...let's call it funnyrific lol XD
moop256 10
Making up your own words do you have an English degree?
bettyc4 26
In imagination land =]
moop256 10
Yeah in imagination land I'm a magical pancake that flys around in a giant magical coconut :)
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
maybe op got her period and he was kind enough to let her know...jeeze
xSonic 9
31-I'm about to jismsplap you
bettyc4 26
Silly moop256 pancakes can't fly! Only waffles can!
moop256 10
No the coconut flys me around. What do you take me for a fool. Pancakes can't fly they can old glide long distances
AyeTee77 18
Get a room already you two!
bettyc4 26
We did get a room... a CHAT-room! muahaha
moop256 10
Ok 41 lined her up for that one
Idonebeenhad 17
Giggity!
yomommma 6
You look like Jenelle from Teen Mom.
kemando 22
I'll say... Wait, you were talking about the fml.
Rarah 0
JhplB
_Oblivion_ 12
lol at how far off topic they got.. flying pancakes and coconuts?
CryMoreFMLs 15
70 - All we need now is a drunken leprechaun dancing on a half-rainbow and the cycle of insanity is complete.
ShyAnn29 15
70 it was only flying coconuts, pancakes can only glide
zombiegold 23
Everyone knows you need rabbit ears and dolphin tails to make pancakes fly.
IBelongToJeebus 0
I said not to put the lemons on it, they didn't believe me and now she won't talk to me!
_Oblivion_ 12
Pancakes ******* fly when I go over boners house, there are flying elephants too. Whatever he puts in grandmas brownies is ******* awesome.
bettyc4 26
Teen mom is a horrid show and I do not look like that selfish disturbed jenel chick yuck! I do on the other hand look like a leprechaun slapped by pancakes made out of special brownies that fell out of rabbit ears ^.^ put THAT on family guy
ImInYourFACEbook 8
Pancakes? Waffles? What the heck?! Where's the french toast?!?!
muzy 23
100- Don't you mean 'horrific show' ??? hahaha right ? No? ok sorry....
Sydknee 8
he means puberty
Eaglestrike117 29
He probably just paid a ridiculous sum of money for some sort of cologne that is advertised to attract hordes of females. And he thinks it's working. His loss.
ShyAnn29 15
102, the French toast is hiding in the coconuts
captcore 0
Ur hot. Let's ****.
yomommma 6
Yea she's crazyyy. But I still think you look like her.
bettyc4 26
No. She's not crazy, she's a f*cking idiot. And you sir are blind as a bat.
bettyc4 26
No. She's not crazy, she's a f*cking idiot. And you sir are blind as a bat.
kasumirock 13
I want whatever you're smoking bethy. Because you probably think you're cute but they're hitting on you because your pushup bra is doing a nice optical illusion. Come at me haters. >:)
badass243 6
reminds me of the fat guy from modern family lol
eternalsunlight 5
No way!!! Cam is so sweet! He would never say anything that creepy!
idiothater1 4
And he's gay. Most unlikely to say that to a woman!
letitsnow_fml 5
Mean, Cam is so funny
SpeakOutLoud 1
Why would Cam say that???
akallaan 7
Take it as a creepy compliment!
RussianFox 13
From a total pervert
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
#3 and #6 have it right... be afraid OP... be afraid !
CaptainPickles72 18
#3- Creepy compliments are kinda hard to take. I once had an older gay gentleman give me a compliment along the lines of "your eyes are so pretty, I wish I could just eat them". I just gave a awkward chuckle and said thank you... as I back away slowly! I didn't want my eye balls eaten!! But anyways back to my original point. Creepy compliments are hard to take, especially if you eye balls are on the line...
RedPillSucks 33
Are you sure he was talking about your eyeballs, Captain?
FalconCrunch 4
Are you hideous? It could be the zombie apocalypse he was referring to.
TexasMud 8
If so....let us know, I feel the need to run over some zombies. ????????
Shleebs 12
#4 -- That's exactly what I thought of when I read this post.
Katastrophe101 8
I'm only going to assume that when OP said "good morning" and said creepy customer checked her out and said "it's starting", he meant that it's starting to be a good morning.
kasumirock 13
88, thank you for pointing out the obvious that no one seemed to realize.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"who wants to see my purple heart?"
Yourheadache 19
yo momma
mama2b3 20
There's been a lot of fmls like this lately.. take it as a compliment or just ignore it op.
stephissilly 18
if he gives you large tips, keep it up!
MedKits 9
Can we get a cryptologist for 12 in here?
neuf77 1
Just the tip??? Lolol
ninjaboy18 6
You are either really hott like number 1, or he is really creepy..
bettyc4 26
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
^invisible typing?
midnightsky1 3
Creepy..
ninjuh_wingman 29
Whats starting? His erection?
thisisafunnyname 12
His diarrhea!
Thatoneguy911 2
71- that didn't even make any sense -.-
lies_ah 3
I think the good morning