Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML
Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML
Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Bonerific
FalconCrunch 4
Are you hideous? It could be the zombie apocalypse he was referring to.
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Comments (137)
AcidLacedBong 5
Your a Walmart greeter aren't you OP?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
You're* Btw, Walmart isn't the only place with store greeters.
AcidLacedBong 5
It's a little thing I like to call a joke...
ladyLALAA 29
I could believe it 13, have you seen the people of walmart website? She's probably cranky because she got put on it.
nicknamekenny 1
You sell your soul if you work at walmart
nicknamekenny 1
You sell your soul if you work at walmart
AcidLacedBong 5
All these people giving negative marks must work at Walmart.... For FML these people are pretty mad all the time... Lighten up losers!!
nicknamekenny 1
I'm chill it's only a joke
AcidLacedBong 5
I know girl I agree with you... I'm saying the people who are giving us negative thumbs are lammmmers and need to lighten up yo!
AcidLacedBong 5
P.S. you do sell ur soul of you work at Walmart!!! But like randy from south park says the discounts are worth it!!! Lol
twisted_cherub 14
You lose tiny pieces of your soul every time you buy something at Wal-Mart. So lose your soul all at once, or bit by bit over a lifetime?
GoWithTheFro 10
Well he sounds delightful. Good luck OP.
ChaosAngel17 14
At least he doesn't think the Cold War is still going so you didn't have to nuke him.
bettyc4 26
IT'S LIZ LEE!
cja101 8
16 she is French learning English. Don't jump down her throat about grammar
cja101 8
WTF sorry wrong post
ChaosAngel17 14
Haha I think you had the right post.
TexasMud 8
???????????? Actually the cold war old man would've been more entertaining, this is just awkward.
tmd4L 7
I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult.
Wederoney 16
Maybe it's just me but I fail to see a genuine FML here.
Wederoney 16
WTF?!? Why did my comment get moderated?
bettyc4 26
It was too good to be unmoderated ;)
yuzuhere 21
"And now it's ending."
Caos_Bella87 0
creppy comment…its life take it with a grain of salt…
cja101 8
A slice of lemon and a tacilla
cja101 8
Tequila*
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Creepy*? Tequila*?
IBelongToJeebus 0
It's*?
teyyoshi 19
sometimes i made some comment seemingly irrelevant to the topic, due to my little knowledge of the joke, but i will try my best to make it understood. hopefully you guys dont argue here, providing everybody with a good platform to communicate with...
moop256 10
That's all we can ask you for sir. Good luck :)
ChaosAngel17 14
Don't worry! I know how hard it is learning English! Just keep at it and eventually it will start to make sense.
moop256 10
It's not even just that it's fact that it's hard to understand western pop culture. Which everyone expects you to know for some reason...
Pentium_4 27
it's really hard when there are so many idiots talking in text speak all the time. i respect anyone who gives the effort to learn a second language...
desireev 18
Keep it up teyyoshi!! You're doing a FANTASTIC JOB!! Don't let these guys get you down! Learning English is a very hard thing to do. But, like I said, you're doing fantastic! :)
mistgun_fml 0
OMG I GOT 10$ Free from an app called App Trailers! 1. Get an app called app trailers 2. Type in emosauce 3. Get 10$ on iTunes for f
moop256 10
Not sit really? Im a Nigerian prince who needs some money so I can access my Swiss bank account. **** YOU
CaptainPickles72 18
Wait a minute, now! I talked to a Nigerian prince this morning about his Swiss Bank Account... you are defiantly not him! I mean, I already sent him the $500 dollars he needed, and I'm already in his will so that his money-grubbing ex-wife won't take his money when he dies. You sir, are trying to scam people, and I will talk to my prince friend about you!
moop256 10
And now for a dramatic twist... You are the actual prince of Nigeria...
CaptainPickles72 18
GASP!
drooby 5
Dislike this comment now cause iv got nothin funny to say