Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML
Today, I tried to quietly open a bag of chips during a movie. The bag made so much noise that people turned around to stare. When I finally got it open, I dropped the entire bag on the floor and chips scattered down the aisle. FML
Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
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Top comments
ndnpride88 25
Man that's disgusting
instnt1nfction 17
Like a ninja
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Comments (636)
instnt1nfction 17
Like a ninja
Lanceeden 12
Ninjas can do whatever the hell they want.
fanceh 10
This girl that sat in front of me in health class took out her used pad once IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. Whenever I see her, all I think about is the pad. :/
crazychick1269 7
umm ninjas are ****** AWSOME you're just jealous u can't c them^_^
gunmania0 12
If you loved her you wouldn't care! XD
SCREAM4meeee 0
That's ******. Go to the bathroom damnit.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Hey, hey, hey! Don't blame her, guys; she just likes to have fresh ****** 24/7.
SuperKnuckels 6
Bloody Tampon Ninja? -Google it.
futtbuck101 1
Bitches be crazy
yankfan89 27
Like a nasty ninja
Brice28_fml 10
Like a boss
Alexisthebestest 16
I'm trying to figure out how the popcorn came into play, but something's telling me I don't wanna know...
bananagurl17 0
I'd dump her right then and there
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
She must have had Ninja Pro or Ghost Pro to be not noticed and some Slight of Hands to change it really fast
stacianichole 2
Hands + bleedy vag pad - soap/water = contamination.
Dixie19 0
139-it's because she touched her used pad and then was still sticking her nasty hands in the popcorn bag.
bbgirlXD 6
And you're still dating her nasty ass because?
GwarKitty 5
Bitch must be from Frankston.
jessesgirl14 16
139--Probably because she changed her nasty pad, didn't wash or sanitize her hands, then dug into the popcorn...
Alexisthebestest 16
You're probably right. Although I would think OP would have fought her off the popcorn after witnessing that.
GeorgeForPm 5
LOL Probably a bogan too.
Poetaster 10
She is a charter member of the scarlet ninja society ... They use the economic family pack of full body pads.
brettlovesgirls 4
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See ya next month.
boner_till_icoll 0
135 - i was totally gonna say that .FML
ducttapewallet 7
Did she accidentally put the pad in the popcorn first? Or are you just a wuss? What did you sit and watch her the while time anyways? So many questions, so little time.
FckYoCOUCH 6
I can't even scratch my ass in a movie theater without someone noticing. How the **** did she manage to change her pad?
queenb1621 21
286 I know right...
Discombobulated9 12
That's disgusting! You can garentee that won't be the last time she does something like that in a public place.
ntherewas1 11
Yeah. Or at least before. But I do know some people who, since have paid or their ticket, will stay for the whole thing, damnit!!! I guess that she was a little extreme, but it also reflects I think on their relationship. Way way too settled in the comfort zone.
bonnie789 1
Haha frankston
LiveRS 7
this is probably the most disgusting thing I've heard..
xphoebex 5
Bah Frankston , yeah probably :P
PokeTrainer97 0
Haha I was gonna say that too.
tjv3 10
oh that is just sickening and gross. I just threw up a lil in my mouth
hinchkongfang 0
She just put the used pad in her purse??? It would be like an abattoir in there, that smells like a fish market!! Your missus is filthy mate!!
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
she's got skills... but no class
theybebitchin 4
honestly i dont know why u got thumbed down. Honestly if my gf did that I WOULD dump her thats ******* disgusting to an extreme. Not that ******* difficult to go to the bathroom! Thats just disgusting, fyl OP,
uhhRawr 7
Lol the first comment has 420 like at the time I saw it.. Sorrry if makes ppl made if I said that but I'm random so live with it :P
kaitlin_s 2
I just cried from laughing so hard...
Pandaloverr 0
What a pick ..
ndnpride88 25
Man that's disgusting
woosah 16
I don't think I've ever heard of anything this gross before...she didn't feel the need to go to the bathroom like every other regular person in the world? She's gross
rlet 1
That is so disgusting how can u look at her now!!!
DeviousAngel 13
That's absolutely nasty, who does that?
fthislyfe 22
And was it such an emergency that she couldn't wait till the end of the friggin movie to change it in the bathroom like a normal human being?
TrimKibbles 12
You know they normally have toilets in cinemas...
myoukei 31
why would anyone do something like that?
Michael_Kelso 0
I woulda left her right there. It's not just disgusting, unhygienic, and probably illegal, it's obviously awkward for others and sucks for whomever sits in that seat next. Hope you like tappin' that op because that is some nasty ******* shit.
Dalliance 4
TMI alert: I've had to change a pad while in a car on a long road trip with no bathroom or rest area around for miles. If you do it properly, and use wet wipes and sanitizer on your hands afterward, AND thoroughly wrap up the used pad in layers of paper towel and stuff it in the new pad's plastic wrapper, it's really not that gross. What are you supposed to do, let the blood seep through your pants? I hope that in saying the OP's girlfriend is "disgusting" and that he should dump her, you guys are really commenting not on her actions, but on the context. Her actions, in the right context, aren't gross. But doing what she did in a crowded public place with a bathroom nearby IS gross.
docscientist 10
Damn, how good was the movie?
Random_Person88 8
Has she ever heard of a bathroom? Did she know that movie theaters have them?
crush451 15
that's exactly what i was thinking...must have been amazing to refuse to leave
brettlovesgirls 4
I like poop
ducttapewallet 7
Shut up you dumb faggotwhorebitchshit. You'll never be as good as the father of god. You're not even close to worthy of that picture.
hercs95 0
That is so HOT!!!
bharted85 7
I really hope you held your breath
SoBlind 4
The difference of course is that you dud this because there was no other option. She did this because she didn't want to miss the movie? OP's gf is nasty... there is no reasonable explanation for her actions.
TinyLittleSilver 4
Yeah, the difference is definitely that you had no choice as to where you could change. This girl only had to leave for a couple of minutes to a better and more convenient environment than a movie theatre. I feel so sorry for the boyfriend in this instance. Even just out of respect, one shouldn't change a their bloody pad in a movie theatre...or anywhere in a public space that isn't a bathroom. It's just nasty. I refuse to change my sanitary items in front of my boyfriend...ANYWHERE. Why? Because it's gross enough to have to face it as a girl, but no one should have to see it. It's a toilet thing! Might as well let everyone watch you going to the toilet if you want to change pads in public. :/
emyonline 0
I like this comment...
FML_a_Must 7
Just so you know Miss I'm I proud I-ranian, you are not part of the middle east since your people would rather isolate themselves by thinking they own the Gulf. Congrats on your failure ;)
PoeSlayer 0
406 - and that's relevant how?
xeldawyn 14
406- completely irrelevant. I'm sure you were just trying to gather attention and possible thumbs up, but instead you came out looking like an immature dick. Gtfo
sara_saturday 5
foul bachelorette frog strikes again
alex1432 9
No 132, it's still pretty ******* gross
niicolle92 1
In a car on a road trip..no toilets I get that, but in a cinema the toilets usually are not that far away it's disgusting and just plain lazy!
Crystal55621 19
Oh, gross.
aguin8 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yummm that's how I know when she's a keeper
juliahockey 0
That's disgusting. Even more so in public. Dump her ass, OP
SexyHindu 2
(3) BOOOOO bad comment alert
hilary56 0
Eww not a keeper, she didn't even have enough class to just go to the restroom
aruam365 24
Agreed. Any woman/girl old enough to be having menstrual cycles should be old enough to know what is unhygienic and also, what is socially unacceptable behavior.
thisisafunnyname 12
maybe she was... she probably... never mind theres no excuse or explanatiob for that. thats just...eww
TheDarkCynder 2
Did you guys hear that whooshing noise? That was 3's sarcasm going right over your heads.
NoobHat 6
I do believe I would start carrying a gallon of 'Germ-X' around her.
raphanne_fml 33
And spray her with it...
Daralea 21
I do believe I would start carrying a new girlfriend around her.
ShakeMeDown 12
^WIN
CrizzyCream 1
Wat the hell does OP mean.?
ShakeMeDown 12
Optimus Prime.
raphanne_fml 33
Olympic Prick.
fatgirllovesfml 0
Oral Penetration
yoursucklives 36
orange penis
Ricky23J 0
*facepalm*
rcloca 10
Ok panda
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Optimal pubage.
ThatGenericGuy 6
Overrated porcupine
peptidoglycan 4
She is definitely disgusting!!!! Ugh I can't believe you didn't dump her!
cheefer 0
That's worth of a public lashing
giggleprincess 0
The question here is what else has she done without anyone noticing O.o
bevsta 7
More like pubic lashing
justanotherbird 19
All I could think upon reading this was literally, "What the ****." I am at a loss for words! What is wrong with her?! I would have said "Are you serious? There's this thing called....a bathroom!"
All_Blacks 2
In his case i believe they call it a lou
lol_ironic_life 9
Totally agree with you #7! If I was a guy and my girlfriend did that I would tell her to go to the bathroom or gtfo! LoL
laxho5 2
This has blown my mind because I would never even think to do something like this. What a wonderful world we live in..
VeganVampyre 27
Don't be silly! If she went to the bathroom she'd miss something in the film. Much better to just change it right there, obviously. Seriously though, that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard! That would literally never have even occurred to me. Also... I don't get how the hell she managed it. Or why she couldn't just wait 'til the end of the movie...
sighawkward 6
Loo!
habibiiiiiii 2
She's making girls look bad ! There r bathrooms!
stacianichole 2
And she put it in her PURSE?!
picklezz123 5
Where else
SexyHindu 2
Stick it to the bottom on the seat...
Okayitwasme 0
I could only imagine where she would have put it if not there. I wouldn't let her have any popcorn!
jessthebest3 0
Pads come with a little cover thing, prevents smell and grossness. But thats still gross
star111 6
Some chick a year younger than me in middle school used to carry her used "items" in her purse instead of throwing them in the trash...it was disgusting.
corrinaswan 0
338- maybe she was embarrassed so she waited until she got home.
shortyife 0
463-embarrassed?! enuf to put it in her purse but not to go to the bathroom to change it discreetly? that doesnt make any sense. she's just plain disgusting, and op maybe has some kind of confidence issues cause no man I date would stick w me if I tried pulling a stunt like that! ugh!
touchesthelight 8
OMG, I almost pissed myself laughing! It does have those sticky tabs, so it wouldn't be that hard to do so, but the smell...EWWW!
mea_iloveskiing 26
If I were OP, I think I would cry
Malkria 1
I felt like throwing up
ThatLooksSticky 16
...in her purse.
Iffyy 6
When I was little I got really sick during a movie and threw up in my mum's purse...random fact.
bluebeau7 0
At least she didn't ask you to hold her purse..?
SanDiegoGirl111 3
Or her hand! *shudder*
JinxosGirl87 0
Next she'll be telling OP to get her ringing phone from the purse. Don't worry, that wet substance is just blood from her ******.
koreanlisa 0
gross...wtf???