Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML
Today, I tried to quietly open a bag of chips during a movie. The bag made so much noise that people turned around to stare. When I finally got it open, I dropped the entire bag on the floor and chips scattered down the aisle. FML
Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
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Top comments
ndnpride88 25
Man that's disgusting
instnt1nfction 17
Like a ninja
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Comments (636)
wisese 0
That is truly the most disgusting and unhygienic thing I have ever heard. I feel bad for anyone associated with her; if she thinks that's acceptable, I wonder what other gross things she does? I wouldn't want to touch ANYTHING she touches...
AshorinaMoshe 10
that's f**king disgusting
misstrujillo 0
If that's how she feels about personal hygiene, she deserves to be alone. Freakin gross.
ajpopoca88 3
wtf.. at least she didnt have to take a shit during the movie O__o
jordo924 0
your girlfriend's a total ninja, a gross ninja, but a ninja
AmethystRain 20
Wow. Just wow. As a woman, I cannot even possibly fathom ever doing this in a million years. Your girlfriend has some serious underlying issues.
kikibrowm 7
I know, right? It wouldn't hurt to miss a minute or two...
VeganVampyre 27
No kidding... That's so gross! Also, a movie's only a couple hours long... If changing her pad couldn't wait until the movie ended, then it probably should have been taken care of before the movie started. Little bit of thinking and planning ahead- problem solved!
shortyife 0
yeh but how urgent can a pad change be during a movie? couldnt she have done so b4 or waited till after?
ThatLooksSticky 16
What movie is SO GOOD that you can't go to the bathroom for a few minutes? And if the theater was so crowded, how in the world did no one else notice this?? I hope I never sit in her seat. ::shudder::
theonlybassist 8
And she probly would've missed that part of the movie anyway. Unless she really is a ninja and did it without looking.
catatonicsleep 17
She should have done it before the movie started if she was so desparate not to miss a minute of it.
yeti0718 8
This is so incredibly nasty I'm not even sure I could think of a word to describe the amount of disgust I feel. I really hope you broke it off right there. YUCK.
glitterglam86 0
That's really disgusting
GypsyRover 0
Well,you said that she is your gf,so I'm guessing she is good at sucking dick and taking it in the ass,and has no problem with you seeing other women. And she must be a sugar mama. That would be the ONLY reason that I can think of to keep her around. However,this is not a FML for you. It's a FHL. I wish you the best of luck. :-)
raphanne_fml 33
None of the reasons you gave are good enough. I would just run away and boil my eyes if I were OP...