Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
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Top comments
89jessica 0
I have two words for you: Lightsaber battles.
explodingmuffint 0
You should have told her you took up drugs instead.
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Comments (129)
explodingmuffint 0
You should have told her you took up drugs instead.
falluke17 0
ha, mom ftw
MissKelly8D 0
Win.:) on your mums part at least.
QuantumLegend 0
lol reminds of that old fml where the girl's boyfriend and other friend (boy) were playin star wars with glow in the dark ones
techweed 12
I knew he was canadian the moment his mom said "eh"
sexxy_skater 0
Canadians FTW.
gntfmlingnow 12
Now you see it, now you don't ?
SugarSpunSister 8
Turning your penis into a novelty item is never a good idea
iSitt 0
that was a bonding moment. ask her to pimp you out.
89jessica 0
I have two words for you: Lightsaber battles.
Penises_are_fun 0
Put them on sticks? YES DO IT NOW!!!
10_4Franky 0
I got you reference, if you meant one to made if at all.
sydneynault99 7
lmfaoo I bet that's fuun ?
redneckbab7 0
Rite thts exactly wat it looks like haha
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lmao. ur mom is so nice! :P
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
I was being sarcastic.
DelPiero10 0
Soccer!
GodofCarnage 10
awwww, poor you :(
MudBoy 0
that sucks
Doortje 30
Nice mom :D well you still have a few more years. Just don't let them expire, that would be a waste of those cool glow-in-the-dark condoms!
Winter247 2
Beat her. That's what I do.
teedygee 2
:) My grandmother blew up a bunch of condoms and tied them to my uncle's car on his sixteenth birthday
Yousuck24 21
Haha win
tinayoufatlarddd 0
Now you see it...now you don't!
EatnBeef 7
couldn't see it in the first place... ;)
kingtz 6
HAHAHA that's an awesome way of putting it!
too_tiny 5
nice one tinayoufatlarddd. that was a hilarious way to put that. lol.
baileyfml 0
well goodness that sucks! what colours?
Necromal 2
it's called hiding your fat stomach
truthbetoldxoxo 0
yes it is!!! ^^^^^ the bitch next door to me does the same shit!! I just keep telling her she ain't foolin no one!!
DaveEPIC 0
She's probably just showing her cleavage.
alexavb15 4
Lmao Right ;p