Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Good on you for taking matters in your hands and succeeding!
BradTheBrony 19
Huh? That's like missing a unicorn in a room full of potatoes!
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Comments (158)
SkoomaKi 28
Good on you for taking matters in your hands and succeeding!
dan13mey 0
Do you chew your food? You'd think you would notice an inch long bone.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Yeah, I normally can chew bones too.
Fatlove74 6
I can only think of three reasons for the doctor to send OP home with the only instructions being "eat some bread" 1) the doctor was really lazy and/or tired 2) the doctor actually couldn't see the bone because his or her eyesight was failing and he or she didn't have their glasses 3) the doctor thought that pulling out the bone could possibly be hazardous and decided to use a more passive way of dislodging the bone.
mellophone21 0
How would eating bread dislodge a bone imbedded into one's tonsil?
EyesofStone 27
Swallowing the bread might push the bone down with it, I suppose. Sounds like that might have made things worse though.
DrDilllonReese 12
47- I'm pretty sure there's a code/oath thing that doctors take in regards to 1. I'd imagine if a doctor needed glasses he would wear them to avoid a malpractice lawsuit in regards to both 1 and 2. And in regards to 3, if he had thought of a more passive way to dislodge the bone, he almost certainly would have told OP rather than say he couldn't see the bone.
teejayx7 0
Your profile pic gives me bonerz #1
TheresNoMoreTp 4
:O
yozakura06 2
I think this guy should sue the living shit out of his doctor I went to my doctor and did some test and he did not even look at the results because that same day he said I was fine The. I went to a specialist for stomach pain and now I'm taken 4 kind of medication because " I did not have anything" now I'm suing
YtotsDI 0
Thats what you get for visiting Doc Bastard.
KairoFallin 0
Where's DocBastard when we need him?
xxdark 3
Common thing is to squash up some bread into a little ball and swallow it whole to dislodge anything stuck in your throat. This happened to me once, though. The bread did not work. I turned to the tweezers too :( It really is a BITCH of a thing to accomplish, getting it out of there. What with regular tweezers being shorter than you need as well as all the saliva that just has a party when you have to keep your mouth open for that long. Hahahaha
mg32112345 0
Ouch! But it probebly felt felt good to get it out
Gxr 0
Probably***
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
I read the first sentence and thought that it was my girlfriend posting this about the furst time she blew me.
The_Hitdude 12
60- I read your name and could already tell you were a douchebag...your comment only confirmed it.
leogirl95 12
Lol they said felt twice
MitChell127 5
87 - If that wasn't enough then read his profile.
guckylynn 19
I think 60 is sorta making fun of himself with the whole one inch thing, but I could be wrong.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
68-I was kidding could you REALLY not tell. Also I'm not at all a douche I'm just not a butt hurt with no sense of humor like you guys.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
68-You get a thimbs up because I love rise against and 113 I can't believe you're the only one that got that. Also 87 Whats the deal I guess you dont like gentelmen's rant.
girl112891 7
My aunt went through this. She had a painful soar throat for about two weeks. Felt like it was still there, scraping the walls of her throat as it went down horizontally.
Aug1508 9
Dang that sucks! I hope you didn't suffer any damage.
123josie123 11
Other than being $70 poorer now..
boofgall 16
I'd bring the fish bone back to the doctor and show him. I wonder how dumb he'd feel then.
ttttttyyy 0
He'd be dumb flounderd!
ryanebk 7
Get out of the trash can!
mexicotoucher 7
Even doctors make mistakes sometimes.
ttttttyyy 0
But the fish bone was visible.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
Doctor should rarely make mistakes there mistake could kill someone
BradTheBrony 19
Huh? That's like missing a unicorn in a room full of potatoes!
madfrenchfries 0
That made my day :)
ryry013 6
Your picture fits your comment :D
wave7891 0
I love unicorns! So I like you!
bee716 0
Ouch. some doctor..
linkinpark98 24
Good thing it didn't cause any severe damage. Fish bones are extremely sharp, and could have pierced through the skin.
Pelreskovich 11
Well that was a waste of $70! But I've heard eating bread can solve issues like that.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doctors? Who needs 'em?!
MigraineurOfLife 15
Good DRs we need, the bad ones we could do without!
Dustfinger 6
We all need the doctor. He has a TARDIS
DogsPaw 16
Only Doctor we need is DocBastard. No arguments.