Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Good on you for taking matters in your hands and succeeding!
BradTheBrony 19
Huh? That's like missing a unicorn in a room full of potatoes!
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Comments (158)
egc573 40
Wow. For that brief amount of time, you were a better (and cheaper) doctor than he was. (You might want to post that doctor's information somewhere. I'd like to know who NOT to refer to when the unfortunate happens.)
capnbzarr 43
Tell him you won't tell anybody about his incompetence if he gives you a full refund.
DocBastard 40
That's what you get for deep throating a bone. Wait, what?
Torva_fml 16
Score! Whoever there's an FML about health/doctors, I automatically start searching all the comments for a Docbastard comment. Hope I'm not the only one...
SassieCat6 16
102- I do too..
THExistentialist 13
you guys don't understand. I'm addicted to finding his comments AND I stalk his blog daily for new posts :/ hey, doc, I just scored a 90% on my National Allied Health Test for Medical Assisting. can I be yours? *creepy anime eyes*
downtime 13
Is it me or is watching this sad display a lot like seeing girls losing their shit when they see One Direction?
emmaweeee 0
So you wasted your time and money by going to the doctor when you could've just tweezed it out yourself in the first place? Yes.. fyl for swallowing a fish bone but ydi for not using your common sense in the first place.
DracoSpirita 21
If I had a fish bone stuck in my throat, I'd rather go to a doctor than do it myself. If I did it myself, I could screw things up royally. At least a doctor would know what s/he is doing.
thiscrazything 1
Apparently OP's doctor did not know what he was doing. But at least his billing clerk did.
brianjman14 23
Can anyone tell me what bread can do because I'm just confused?
ImTheAlpha 30
I'm confused too. Is there a (respectable& intelligent)doctor on FML?
taerts 9
It doesn't do anything, really. That was just senseless advice by the doctor.
rdrr 2
Feeds the fish?
rdrr 2
To feed the fish of course!
LovexInfinity 5
Wow, FYL OP :/ That Dr's a total dick!
SooInnLovee 6
:/ ouch! Well it sounds gross but I would take the fishbone to the dr. and demand my money back and never go back! :( im sorry op!
FunSized88 10
WOOOOW, i would have sued him BIG TIME!!!
Wozuh 5
For that? OP was fine. Sure, that was a bad thing the doctor did, but just switch doctors and move on. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
angelofsaturn 23
Honestly i'd have tried to get it out myself first
ayyemmcee 1
And how exactly did that happen?
thiscrazything 1
My guess is from eating fish.