Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I’m spending my 21st birthday in the hospital getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
Today, I was supposed to be enjoying a long-anticipated, desperately needed, weekend away. Turns out those "little stomach twinges" were actually symptoms of appendicitis. I'm stuck in the hospital, alone, recovering from surgery, while my family is enjoying our non-refundable break. FML
Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Buy a hooker?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Then he'd have more than just a stomach virus.
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Comments (135)
MikeDa1Da 14
Buy a hooker?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Then he'd have more than just a stomach virus.
WCARlover 35
So he can add STDs on top of his stomach virus, good thinking:)
perdix 31
Be careful, hookers add a steep surcharge when diarrhea gets involved without prior approval.
JoshTheMaggot 8
Look on the bright side, the blast isn't coming out of your ass..
isaacmunoz 0
I agree
amyjadee 0
Wait but wouldn't that mean that OP has to buy his own mom?
ChilledDubstepa 6
That was uncalled for.
silvercamaro 22
Anyone else notice ops name is sick in vegas?
perdix 31
#84. Good catch! I missed it. Thanks to this info, suddenly the whole story makes sense.
imustbeinsane 2
84- Oh. My. God. Mind. Blown.
MikeDa1Da 14
84- everything about your profile (your username, info, and picture) makes me want to Sparta kick you into the pool behind you.
Insomniasenemy 6
INo duh op is sick and in Vegas
steadycreepin 5
No bueno
lolololer 8
pero sopa es buena... ;)
lindseykcool 6
^ agreed.
ninjanate 0
Where do you get that shirt. I live in tx and never seen it. Is it in Austin?
steadycreepin 5
99- yes it's in Austin
CheckItOutItsYou 7
This made me sick to my stomach
redbluegreen 41
In that case, I'd hate to see how you respond to the intimacy FMLs.
CheckItOutItsYou 7
^ This made me hard in my penis
EvilPotato 15
^ that made me want to wreck that toothless girl that was begging for money.
Insane_Tea 15
^This makes me want to shave my pubes in the shape of a bonzai tree.
Monkeybuttcream 4
TheIsland, rub me you shall. Hapenis bring too you I will. Yes master Yoda. ( damn those Jedi mind tricks)
Beareyouseae 3
^ this makes my penis soft
ikickgingers 15
^ makes me wish I had a penis
The_Weirdo 10
^ This makes me want to say c-c-combo breaker!
shovels 0
I ruined the chain!
shovels 0
^this made me feel bad...
shovels 0
^way to go MrDikhole
StoryOfTheYear 15
Shovels dug himself out of his own hole. :D Yay for irony.
plantfood 4
^this makes me feel irrelevant.
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
^ this makes me feel relevant
coralita 0
Boo!! Go sit at a casino!!
cosmosis 12
Oh great... Op is sick and you suggest he/she sits in a crowded area?
KiddNYC1O 22
*crickets*
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
When I was in Vegas in April I went to the casino in my hotel, lost $100 bucks in like 10min, and said screw this and hit up bars and clubs with some crazy Canadians and British people I just met until 7am. Long story short, casinos blowwww!
Beareyouseae 3
That's crazy I was in Vegas in April too and there were some Canadian chicks at this one casino bar too hmmm...
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Well if they were from Vancouver, maybe they were the same girls. O.o
DeviantBreeder 7
AGREE! Suck it up, go take some anti-diarrhea tablets & go f**k s**t up!!!
Osito2011 9
Take a laxative empty that stomach and party it up op!
margie2194 12
Awee, watch "friends" reruns, it honestly helps. Lol.
aKaClickZ 4
Nah, that 70's show.
thisisafunnyname 12
Nah, Pokémon
MikeDa1Da 14
Nah, spongebob.
j_cat187 20
Dragonball Z
LuxAeterna_fml 0
The office.
divadro102 16
Catch Sheen at the slots
nickkingcool 0
i guess we r the only ones that likes friends here...
valdancer99 0
Get better soon OP!!
getoustahere 7
That sucks! FYL. :(
Poser1337 5
If it didn't suck, it wouldn't be on FML. Not trying to be offensive, it just sounds to me like you were just trying for a fast comment so you could be on the first page.
DontClickOnMe 28
Aw that's no fun! I hope you get better soon though and happy birthday!
ICATiger 13
Now you're blasting chunks of vomit
Dadz_fml 0
I see where you were going with that. But it failed.
Amrel 10
I think microwaved soup is ******* delicious. You can celebrate when its gone anyways