Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Down!
Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML
Bad boy
Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML
Give us both pain meds, please
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Very bad idea
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Hurting over here
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Showtime
Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML
Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML
Top comments
ihatecake 0
Only in america
hockey199813 5
Someone has their priorities messed up
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Comments (165)
ihatecake 0
Only in america
hockey199813 5
You look like a child molester
alpaquette91 9
What would you have said if the op lived in Finland or Iceland or even simply the UK?
twofirstnames 12
I don't think it's his actual picture, but haha I must agree(:
Naomimi_fml 6
I agree, this could happen anywhere. Just the matter that dogs should always come first.
marpay 11
I like his molest-ash. It's sexy in a I want to attract fellow pedo bears way.
MrPedoBear_fml 4
I'll heal that knee
nalia18 8
Awe its ohk to be second favorite.... No its not... Never mind...
HowAreYouToday 34
The caption for 1s picture was originally "kidnap? I prefer the term 'surprise adoption'"
ihatecake 0
So many replies... Thats not me its a pic i found, and i said only in america as a joke, if it were someplace else i would have said only in uk, germany, italy, etc.
stupidfaceman 0
liar I'm gnna find and hunt u down
stupidfaceman 0
liar I'm gnna find and hunt u down
welandedonthemoo 5
Nalia looks like Justin bieber lol
Damn_Hippster 11
Dogs are mans best friends but grandchildren are old people's best friend. OP you got screwed, although I would have probably done the same if it was my dog.
The_Troller 14
If OP tripped over someones xbox and they went to bestbuy first, then that would be a better "only in America"
treychat1 9
Are we supposed to feel bad that your grandpa made sure his dog was ok? The vet was probably closer and your mad about it
Streeet_hayley 6
79- Oh my..
MrPedoBear_fml 4
79- Just because your so dumb, Im not going to punish a child to be raised by you. Therefore stay away. 66- Bieber, Bieber, Bieber. Still comin for you.
bannedforlife 0
When I want the political opinion of an 18 year old know-nothing I'll beat it out of ya. 'Nuff said. PS Jk. If you were 50 or 30 or whatever I woulda used that age above. See what I did there?
LiyIa_fml 8
Ha! That sounds like my parents... :) i know how you feel OP!
KK3137 31
- 15 He wouldn't have said anything because it wouldn't have happened in Finland or Iceland or the UK. Only in America :P
whitesox365 0
If the dog was sued, then it would be "only in America". Alas, as far as we know the dog was not sued.
dre_bro11 12
91, why don't you get back to the colouring in books and leave FMyLife for the older people to use?
TooOldForDiss 4
You got that backwards. If the dog had sued the OP for the chipped tooth, now that would be, "Only in America!" worthy.
399 41
Lol right.
alpaquette91 9
Vets aren't as expensive?
ssoccerchick97 16
Not necessarily true.
False_Stupidity 42
Often vets are way more expensive, at least if you compare similar treatments.
darkmis1 18
Unless you have insurance for your pet..........which they do have.
DrDilllonReese 12
77- Please tell me how you know that OP's grandpa has insurance for his pet...
alpaquette91 9
A broken knee vs a chipped tooth ... Human and or animal a Human would cost more. I know, I have had both procedures done on myself and my dog... Different occasions
Grimmerie 31
depends on the country, animal, and vet. i live in canada, so getting my rats treated costs me way more than going to the hospital, which is free for me. in the us it depends on your vet and animal, because a common pet like a dog doesn't necessarily require a specialist.
naughtia 14
99 I think 77 just meant pet insurance exists not that OP's grandfather had some.
naughtia 14
By 99 I mean 77 oops!
darkmis1 18
I meant that it exists, not that OP's grandpa has it. Sorry for the mix up.
419 0
65- why do you have a picture of a guy if on your profile it says your a Miss?
JinxosGirl87 0
She's hot for a TV character :P
hockey199813 5
Someone has their priorities messed up
flockz 20
no no they're crooked. maybe even a little jagged.
MagicallyFat 12
I don't want to sound stupid or anything. But if my pet ever got hurt I would treat my pet first. I like my cat more than I like most people I know.
darkmis1 18
Same. I have 5 cats - 4 that live at home, and 1 that lives at my apartment with me. The one I have here turned 4 months yesterday, and he has been a very sick kitty, and has had to go to the vet a lot. I'm in college, and even though the vet was expensive, I still took him. No matter how bad the weather was, or what it would cost........and it was so worth it!
MaximilianMarche 0
78 You sound like ur crazy about ur pussy... cat
Grimmerie 31
animals can't speak; people can. i always take my critters to the vet first. you never know how much pain they're in, or even what's wrong, because they can't say a word.
TheNewGuy03 29
121, OP said that the dog's problem was a chipped tooth. I think that in this particular circumstance, OP's injury earned priority over the dog's tooth. I know humans can do ******-up shit, and I also realize that dogs are "man's best friend," but I don't think that we should put other animals on a pedestal above our own species. Color me crazy or insensitive if you like, but I believe that's how it should be. I mean, dogs are capable of pretty rotten shit, too... |the kid|
eatmyshortssss1 8
Cool story bro tell it again
YourDone6 8
hey he just wanted to play. dick
twofirstnames 12
It doesnt matter if the dog wanted to play. OPs knee was hurt. I could care less about the dog at that point.
FreshlyCut 0
Shut up fat boy. Nuff said
DrDilllonReese 12
A similar thing happened to me back in Chernobyl. A mutant dog bit right through my second penis...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Really, That was you? Which part of chernobyl/prypiat?
MrPedoBear_fml 4
Hey little girl. Wanna play?
sexaaydino 14
Maybe he did want to play but a humans injury for a dislocated knee is probably more fatal than a dogs chipped tooth..
Jeannette97_fml 5
Second?
obnum 19
37 I think you mean "couldn't* care less" ;)
Jamicianprince 1
Hot damn that sucks
Krilleee 5
The awesome feeling when u know ur being loved by you're grandparents!
yunilee7 4
The terrible feeling when someone can't get their your and you ares correct
whitesox365 0
Autocorrect? Is that you?
Krilleee 5
What did u just say? Sorry but I can't get it, I'm from Sweden and my English is kinda bad . But just try to say this " hej! Jag är en ord märkande liten slyna som gillar att ta den så långt upp i röven att jag inte kan gå på flera veckor , det är en av anledningarna till att jag sitter här och påpekar felstavningar på fml " then who's laughing bitch?
mlexi21 5
That's horrible.:(
bballsoccerrocks 7
Sue
raphanne_fml 33
You would sue your grandfather for this?
iloveeyouuxD 9
What would you even sue for?
twofirstnames 12
If he sued his grandpa he would be like one of those stupid people who spill hot coffee on their lap at Mcdonalds to make money. Obviously today it's not as easy but suing people over useless things wastes everyones time including the ones in the courtroom. Just sharing(:
SkardeyKat 3
I agree I hate it when people will sue over anything. They need to suck it up.
1PaulyD 9
Dog accompanies urrr granddad everyday soooooo
Willy3485 1
Your retarded
twofirstnames 12
Looks like we know who's the favorite... Sorry OP, that sucks
exleonhart 0
Am I really the only one that thought maybe they took pooch to the vet to be put down for rebreaking OPs knee?
raphanne_fml 33
I hope so. The dog did nothing wrong here and he's not aggressive...