Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
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Top comments
ItsAnanya 25
OP, you need to have a nice little chat with your mom about this. And maybe better house security. I would invest in some good locks if I were you.
DocBastard 40
Kick her out, change the locks, and get a security system. Oh, and get a dog. A big, mean, vicious dog. One that only attacks crazy mothers.
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Comments (85)
Devorak2686 9
You need to teach her what boundaries are. Also new locks... More than one on the door.
beneathitallxx 15
I'd laugh, tell her to mind her business and kick her out.
BlueFlatts 20
You'd do that to your own mother at 1 in the morning? Who knows if OP lives within even a hundred miles of his mom. Besides, A mom who is "crazy" enough to check up on her kid randomly at 1am isn't going to leave without a fight.
naxeeb 33
Gives "helicopter parenting" a whole new definition. Time to change the locks maybe?
purebliss_fml 19
Mothers and their sons... If there's one thing I've learnt, they don't let go easily.
Bano360 25
Well, why were you out so late young man? That's well past your bed time. I'm almost sure a few people won't understand that this is sarcasm.
Myo_fml 20
If you have to explain that it was sarcasm, then the joke probably wasn't very good or clever to begin with.
Bano360 25
Well due to the fact that most FML users seem to not understand or interpret sarcasm well, I decided to say it.
challan 19
Your mom is a ninja.
Frenchtony 17
There once was a young lad Who's mother drove tottaly mad He came home late at night On his couch she slept tight It's one, she told him, are you mad ?!
heatheru 5
boundaries!
olpally 33
The ****? Kick her ass out. She needs to cut the cord.
WhoWhat_fml 10
I decided to hire a lock smith to change the locks and install new ones. That should solve it.
punkyboy 11
that may not be enough you need to tell her that your a grown man and she needs to back off and let you make your own decisions on what you do
Jemm_fml 29
All mothers want is a little attention, the occasional phone call and a loving gesture now and then. Not any of this silly "how did you get into my house" business.
Bcfrmkc816 17
I totally agree with you but that may just cause problems with the mother and other siblings if OP has any not to mention the dad.
Jemm_fml 29
What are you talking about, anus apple???