Intimacy, Health, Sex and Insects: My new friends - FML

My new friends

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got a woman back to my place, but we were both too drunk for sex so we decided to nap for a few hours, then fuck. Yeah, we both woke up covered in red spots. Hell of a way to discover my house has become infested with bed bugs. She ran out so fast… FML

agreeclassic 175

vote type 1 329

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By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

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Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

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By unfucked - 26/08/2012 23:18 - Australia - Mona Vale

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By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

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By Sarah Ellsberry - 13/09/2017 16:00

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The joys of spring

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Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

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With friends like these…

By marz88 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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