Intimacy, Relationships and Sleep: Women shouldn't fart?

Women shouldn't fart?

By single again - 06/04/2021 17:00

Today, I slept in the same room as my girlfriend for the first time. She is sweet, smart, and drop-dead gorgeous, so naturally I thought she was going to be the one. Until she farted in her sleep. 56 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 3 127

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Same thing different taste

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 385

By gassygirlfriend - 10/05/2015 08:40 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 5 126

It's a gas gas gas

By wtf?? - 17/01/2022 02:02

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 492

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 479

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 440

You deserved it 805

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 777

You deserved it 13 968

Cute

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 18:00 - Canada - Québec

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 227

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 432

Jon Tessler 14

Tuesday 6 April 2021 18:12

if you break up with her over a natural bodily function, then you deserve to be single your whole life. get over yourself

cuz803 44

Tuesday 6 April 2021 17:02

If thou loves the beautiful maiden, he shall tolerate fellow maiden's gassy bum bum

Comments

Charles McClure 6

Thursday 8 April 2021 14:06

Plot twist: it's actually her FML for being with someone childish enough to count farts

Jayme Meshell Williams 2

Thursday 8 April 2021 15:07

If you counted how many times she farted you didn't sleep with her. And guess what she poops too. They all do. Sounds like you need a blow up doll

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 8 April 2021 16:16

My dude, you are pathetic. If you dump a woman just because she farts, you should go live in a cave and remain alone until you die. To others in the comments calling OP "childish", I remind you that kids think farts are hilarious, and would not complain if someone farted 56 times.

CowgirlWithHeart 15

Friday 9 April 2021 0:22

You don't deserve her.

alexandraelopez02 1

Wednesday 14 April 2021 20:25

the FIRST thing i do if i’m interested in a guy is fart in front of them. if they can’t handle that, then i dodged a bullet. i refuse to hold my farts in and make myself miserable and in pain just so you could go on pretending that women don’t fart just like you do.