Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML
Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
Today, my coworker screamed at me for once again calling her by a different coworker's name. They have the same hair, skin color, and body type, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them apart. FML
Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML
Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML
Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML
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Top comments
puppster391 16
Kevin J. Smith will have to get over it, then.
Jkjklkl 14
Sit them on opposite sides of the class and call them Kevins Right and Left
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Comments (187)
sassy2085 16
Whatever happened to unusual names, parents are just not trying anymore!
brewmasterg 34
Sorry that these people didn't name their son Defibrillator Jones.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Not wanting a nickname be damned, the only logical course of action is to call one Jay and the other Silent Bob. Obviously these boys don't understand the awesomeness that is THE Kevin Smith.
eaglerob 20
Start calling them Kelli and Kendra instead.
perdix 29
Kevin Salt n' Kevin Pepa. Kevin Alpha, Kevin Beta (or Omega) Kevin[0], Kevin[1] Or, go binary. Kevin 1 and Kevin 10. No one wants to be "number two."
jazzmancarron 11
What are they, 12? Call them tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, decide which one is which and throw shit at them to get them to respond.
CheeseHater 23
Hope you don't mean literal shit. Other than that, that is the best idea so far.
TechFire 25
Call one of them Kevin 1 and the other Kevin A
perdix 29
Kevin One and Kevin Unity. They are both one, but different.
Zephyra_fml 6
I had to go through this in a class were I was the second Shelby. I ended up Shelby 2 because I was newer to the school district.
gc327072 30
Uh...ok?
Shadowlainx 11
how about calling one Kevin or one Smith?