Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML
Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
Today, my coworker screamed at me for once again calling her by a different coworker's name. They have the same hair, skin color, and body type, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them apart. FML
Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML
Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML
Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML
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Top comments
puppster391 16
Kevin J. Smith will have to get over it, then.
Jkjklkl 14
Sit them on opposite sides of the class and call them Kevins Right and Left
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Comments (187)
Llama_Face89 33
Assign a number by birth date?
UsernameHere234 13
Wow. My name is Kevyn C.J. Smith. That's why my first name is spelt with a y not an i
Epikouros 31
Neither will agree? That's not how nicknames work. I wasn't called Gremlin on school because I looked good. If the Kevins don't like any nick you make up, let the class decide. They'll probably be called ******** and Fuckface for the rest of their school career.
Pyapi 20
Exactly! You can't just DECIDE that you don't want a nickname!
ChibiChibi_fml 27
You can, however, refuse to answer to a nickname which in this case defeats the whole purpose of them being given the name in the first place. You don't have to consent to someone else changing your name.
buddy51 23
Make them pay for their similarities by treating them as one person. That'll teach 'em to mess with you!
SS 31
Try Kevin 1 and Kevin A, that way they are both first. Also, try to pick out facial details, such as spots, etc., and then tell them apart using that. Or ask them for their mother's maiden name or something.
doodlecloud 26
Just call them both Kevin then, but make sure you're always looking at the right Kevin. Eye-contact is key, and it's polite anyway.
IronCOG117SR 4
Call them Kevin A and Kevin 1. Or the Mongooses! The Fighting Mongooses! That's a good team name!
ThatLooksSticky 16
How about Kevin 1 and Kevin A? Or maybe Kevin and Nivek?
lemonsandsugar 1
Call one KJ and the other KS. Tell them to get over it if they don't like your decision.
drooby 5
Kevin a and Kevin 1. Problem solved