Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML
Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
Today, my coworker screamed at me for once again calling her by a different coworker's name. They have the same hair, skin color, and body type, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them apart. FML
Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML
Today, two girls who are in my class tried to talk to me about each other, not knowing the other had already spoken to me. They are best friends, but also hate each other, and seem to have taken me as the one to shit talk to about each other constantly. FML
Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML
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Top comments
puppster391 16
Kevin J. Smith will have to get over it, then.
Jkjklkl 14
Sit them on opposite sides of the class and call them Kevins Right and Left
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Comments (187)
scr_sensei 14
Go the Futurama route — Kevin 1 & Kevin A
RedPillSucks 31
Thing 1 and Thing 2?
demonic_angel85 2
i suggest referring to them as either "kevin 1 and chocolat-thunda" or "brat and child"
Court1305 1
I vote you call them Jay and Silent Bob.
ulissey_fml 22
Organize a name -finding competition for your class ,with a cool prize for the best name found ; tell both of them THEY can win too, if they have inventive suggestions! ( I'd say "Brad" would be close enough..;)
stoych 19
Smithson and Smithlar. Problem solved. Alternatively, call them Selma and Patty from the Simpsons......
Me1977 8
You could always just sing one of their names, and do the other monotone.
artinwords 14
This is where "hey you" comes in! You could ask them their favorite colors? Have them use those on papers.
DDCA 24
Call them by their middle names. Now if their middle names are the same, you're royally screwed. I'm also assuming you're the teacher, so you deserve it for not putting your foot down. Your class, your rules.
salty04 2
we had this problem on my lacrosse team we had to kevins, there was a tall and short one so we called them big sexy and little sexy