Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
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Top comments
aFieryFairytale 2
1-800-Restraining-Order. FYL, indeed.
theneatoburrito 8
You should've just changed all of your information in his phone, and changed your number to a sex hotline. That would freak him out a bit. But FYL, OP.
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Comments (127)
GlitterBomb 5
He may not be a stalker, he might have a crush on you! It is a little odd though
flockz 20
"so your number's in my phone now? cool. have you ever smelled chloroform before?"
rcgirl2 11
Maybe you forgot you gave it to him. Or maybe someone else gave him the number.
Enslaved 38
That would have been the perfect time to ask how he already got your number plus picture.
snator 0
And then he ads: buy the way, your furniture looks great from the yard.
Rowdey 10
Nah, the way is too expensive for me.
newbiehere99 6
I hate those damn ads ...
nesteremily 31
here's what matters: how hot is he?? lol
n3rdzgotskillz 29
This isn't so weird; if he has a social phone (NO IDEA IF THAT'S THE RIGHT TERM, SORRY) then it'll connect to his Facebook. If you're friends on there and your number's on it, that's your explanation. If not... run away.
1337Anonymous911 3
Exactly what I thought.
Fmlsea 28
i believe they call them smart phones
mishaparis 7
62-No, 19 was talking about those phones that have a built in social networking feature. You know, like Facebook.
BlondeForever101 6
Yah.The iPhone connects to your Facebook and so does the android!
n3rdzgotskillz 29
62 - Noo, I have a smart phone but my contact list doesn't sync to my Facebook like it does on, say, a Windows phone. :) There's a proper name for them but I've forgotten. :(
DocBastard 40
Are you a superhero? You obviously have the ability to leap to conclusions in a single bound. He's not your stalker, he's just clairvoyant. He foresaw meeting you, so he just put your picture and name in his phone in advance just to save time. See, he's well organised too!
hecallsmedarlin 7
organized... Sorry, had to.
unknown_user5566 27
Pretty sure "organised" is also an accepted spelling.
brookejay_ 4
some phones automatically sync contacts from facebook
flea_of_death 23
That's exactly what I was thinking...I have peoples numbers in my phone from Facebook that I've never met because of the synching...so hopefully no worries, op! =)
zombiibabii 4
I'm betting that you two had probably already met, and both forgot due to being drunk.