Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, after an emergency, my sister’s kids had to spend the night at my house. While I was asleep, they absolutely trashed my place top to bottom. In the morning my sister came in, said, “Wow, what a mess! Bye!” without offering to help clean up or make her kids do it. They drew on my dog. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML
Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
When she asks you to watch her place, do something like that and just say "oops", again.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I think I'm most curious about how the dog came to be pink
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Comments (65)
Aquila_Umbrae 26
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Dude look on the bright side!
bardo264 17
What bright side? (Except for the pink dog, that sounds awesome...)
MrDonSalvetti 27
I don't know! But when he find it, he should look on it!
paramor3 23
Ummm that's quite a big "oops!!" I mean, oops covers a lot...but even if has it limits!!
Nyx7 24
Yup time to go oops upside her head
AcieMcG 21
Sounds like she had a better time than you.
Mauskau 36
How can people use a condom and not throw it away after?
vikky538 29
am I be the only one who wants to have a follow up on this FML
Maccaroney 11
Follow up? I want to have been there! Party!
dragonrider1959 18
We need a follow up
skyeyez9 25
That is a valid reason to cut ties with her for a long ******* time. At least your dog is ok other than the pink color? Thankfully no drunk assholes left your doors wide open for your dog to wander away, and get hit by a car or eaten by a predator.
GingerRoot 13
Awesome sister