Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away.... - FML

By dr.mantistobagon - United States - South Burlington

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

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Commando

Season finale

Always ask for documentation

By Ah hell - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

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By HelloItsMee123 - United Kingdom

Today, I had routine surgery and should have been discharged on the same day. Now due to an avoidable mistake the surgeon made I'll be staying in hospital over Christmas. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/6/2020 08:09

So wrong

Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my family. When I told him I had an autistic brother before he came in, he immediately broke up with me because he claimed autism is another word for overprotective. I've been dating an idiot. FML

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By pantsareathing - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

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By ineedayob - United States - La Mesa

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

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By justjoking - United States

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

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By drucle - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Druncle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

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By Bloop - United States - Ayer

Today, my girlfriend changed our cable subscription to include MTV. This made us lose the only channel I care about: HBO. Goodbye Game of Thrones, hello Teen Mom. FML

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By baller12 - United States

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

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By Marcella - United States

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

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By fishtities - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

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By dane - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

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By invisible - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I realized how invisible I am when our professor was showing us that he knows the names of all the students in our class. When he reached me, he just smiled at me and skipped to the person next to me. I took 3 courses with this guy yet I'm the only one he didn't know the name of. FML

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By Deadendjob

Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML

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By poop - United States

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was having motorbike lessons. We were parked by the side of the circuit when one side of my gloves dropped on the ground. I tried to pick it up without getting off the bike. I lost balance, fell off the bike and the bike landed on my leg, trapping me. FML

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By nolife - United States

Today, I was so bored that I began searching for videos of people popping their pimples. FML

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By emoney - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

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By dwood08 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

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By doilookold

Today, stopping at a rest plaza, the cashier at Wendy’s asked my best friend if I was her mom. We are only two years apart. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 18:02 - United States - Cody

Seize the means

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

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By starley - United States

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

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By married and hates - United States

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

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By StayPositive - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

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By duckwater - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

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By FailedSniper - United States

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

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By JJ - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

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By Anonymous

A rock and a hard place

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

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By Rae - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

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By ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

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Top comments

By uniformed | 13

#6050380 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:41

Nice free porn!

By xivoricbutterfly | 25

#6050387 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:45

Why are you complaining?

COMMENTS

By uniformed | 13

#6050380 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:41

Nice free porn!

Reply

Miss_Whipped | 43

#6050427 - Thursday 28 August 2014 13:35

Hey, it's one way to go out with a bang.

Oh.

Reply

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6051273 - Friday 29 August 2014 8:40

Talk about a Bad Grampa. The Viagra is coming next...

Reply

Blake77_fml | 19

#6051924 - Saturday 30 August 2014 2:41

*Replys to top comment to be seen*

And the problem is.....?

Reply

CaptainCola | 7

#6052253 - Saturday 30 August 2014 11:21

All the people that hit "you deserved it" are just encouraging you to keep the porn

By ArashiGirl | 13

#6050385 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:45

Guess Grandpa wants you to have some fun

Reply

naajster | 14

#6050839 - Thursday 28 August 2014 23:15

it's a gift from the after life

Reply

ArashiGirl | 13

#6050923 - Friday 29 August 2014 1:03

It keeps on giving

By xivoricbutterfly | 25

#6050387 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:45

Why are you complaining?

By TrippingOnAcid | 29

#6050388 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:46

This is almost as bad as the recent FML with the granny's dildo

By jubskant101 | 4

#6050389 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:48

It's a miracle!... Hmh porn from grampy...
This is better than the shit in his will! Lol :)

By SandyBella | 17

#6050390 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:48

Enjoy it while its there haha.

By miliaras93 | 17

#6050392 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:52

Good old granny porn xD

Reply

feelingold | 18

#6050612 - Thursday 28 August 2014 19:16

Who says old men have to like porn with old women?

Reply

miliaras93 | 17

#6051276 - Friday 29 August 2014 9:00

Its a fucking joke , but just think about it , and old man watching young girls have sex .. Hmm

By MandyMeow_fml | 18

#6050394 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:52

It's like he's still with you.. In a weird way that happens to involve porn.

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#6050706 - Thursday 28 August 2014 19:59

OP: (snif) I miss those days when gramps and I used to fap together.

Reply

Lanker | 17

#6050959 - Friday 29 August 2014 1:58

#39 OP is a girl, so thats kinda awkward...

Reply

that_band_nerd | 22

#6053562 - Monday 1 September 2014 2:56

I think it would be awkward no matter what OP's gender is.....

By Mobius638 | 8

#6050395 - Thursday 28 August 2014 12:58

You'll always have something to remember him by.

By euphoricness | 28

#6050399 - Thursday 28 August 2014 13:01

Which sites are they?

Reply

joemud | 13

#6050402 - Thursday 28 August 2014 13:03

He gets them in the mail, so magazines or DVDs

Reply

badluckalex | 23

#6050423 - Thursday 28 August 2014 13:28

does it really matter what kind?

Reply

MAD01502 | 20

#6050450 - Thursday 28 August 2014 14:35

who are you to complain?!