Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheelchair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheelchair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
Today, I got run over. Not by a car, but by a lady in a wheelchair. Am I really that invisible? FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
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Top comments
kglambert24 8
That's actually a little creepy.
techweed 12
"Make her day by asking her to marry me"... A bit conceited, aren't we?
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Comments (60)
CrookedCook 14
"I tried to make her day..." Apparently you gave yourself too much credit OP. :)
zandalee 20
I'm fully intending to be a randy old lady who will always be doing my best to be bad. I imagine I'd give you a run for your money young wipper snapper in another forty odd years. Make my day.... Make my lunch more like...
Wizzlbang 10
What would you do if she had said yes?
\ 28
I'd have gone along with it; for all we know, she could have had millions of dollars in the bank ready to will away to her family and spouse... and the fact of her old age makes this inheritance all the more accessible. :)
perdix 31
#15, get ready for several years of changing diapers?
perdix 31
#15, also, be prepared to give her frequent rim jobs. Wheelchairs require lots of maintenance.
\ 28
"Ye old lecher! Prepare to be smitten by the strength of my wheels of steel!"
Hamz1989 13
I wish she would've said yes.
sezzle17 11
Why? Are you a ******?
coolboy675 16
OP: "Will you marry me?" Old lady: "Wheel see about that!" Maybe you forgot to inform her about the whole package: condom and some lube?
kittycat2007 18
Am i the only one who read this in granny smith's voice?
DjeePee 25
"I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me." Maybe her day was perfect, until some young idiot started to bother her with marriage proposals. It's not because she's old that she needs to be entertained by you to have a good day.
morella_xx 29
Agreed. She probably just assumed you were mocking her, which made her day worse if anything.
perdix 31
It would have been funny if she said yes and used the wheelchair to pin him down, so he can't get away like all the other guys have.
Marblecakelolz 11
That went over wheely well.
LebanonBaby 26
You didnt make her day, but she made yours...