Today, being tired of all the shrubbery growing “downstairs”, I decided to give my lady bits a good waxing. So, naturally, I now have a tiny tear in my right labia and I'm scratching my itchy buttcrack with an old toothbrush. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
Today, I waxed my asshole and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I had to shove toilet paper down my crack, because I have things to do that require me to get dressed and go out in public. It still bled through my trousers. It looks like I got my period, and I’m a 6”4 man with a beard. FML
Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML
Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I got my lady bits waxed for my man with a little heart-shaped landing strip. Later, as he removed my panties, he crinkled his nose and stated, "It looks like Donald Trump." FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
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Top comments
Vesi 30
A trimmer with guards is the most comfortable way to maintain the bush, so to speak. No itches or damaged delicate bits.
spinningrecords 14
Lol, I started reading this and though maybe you needed the Knights who say Ni. Very interesting read.
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Comments (3)
Vesi 30
A trimmer with guards is the most comfortable way to maintain the bush, so to speak. No itches or damaged delicate bits.
spinningrecords 14
Lol, I started reading this and though maybe you needed the Knights who say Ni. Very interesting read.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
This is why I don't wax. I prefer to just shave with a razor and shaving gel.