Sex, Sexting, Wanker and Intimacy: Turn me on

Turn me on

By wot02 - 27/07/2015 02:02 - United States

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 3 297

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Same thing different taste

You Sexty Thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 06:53 - United States - Prairie City

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 158

You deserved it 6 586

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 332

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 17 891

By Elizabeth Ann - 19/08/2018 03:30

Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 067

You deserved it 7 760

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 4 268

By Queenbee26 - 23/11/2017 21:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 235

You deserved it 542

By BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 798

You deserved it 7 321

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 35

Calingaladha 21

Monday 27 July 2015 14:56

Yeah, I'm sure his hands stay glued to that phone, too.

cksmith51 14

Monday 27 July 2015 14:56

I honestly don't see why he'd have a problem with it. Does he not realize he's the one causing it?

Comments

TheDevilsDevices 15

Monday 27 July 2015 21:00

Maybe you need to get a real man...he sounds very immature.

shitstorm28 11

Monday 27 July 2015 22:13

run. because that's insane.

Laudinho93 1

Monday 27 July 2015 23:02

you should discusse that kind of things with him

afrostybird 25

Monday 27 July 2015 23:07

Is that not the purpose of sexting?

sarcasmwins 24

Monday 27 July 2015 23:11

Pleasuring ones self and feeling comfortable with your own body is great OP. Don't let your boyfriend tell you otherwise.

edmunson 22

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:55

He's a ******* idiot. Somebody had to say it...everyone was thinking it!

wsj93 6

Tuesday 28 July 2015 2:38

I mean I'll give you my number so you can forget about it

Avashantu 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 4:34

I dunno, but something seems off here.. And it might just be him.

Invalid1 9

Tuesday 28 July 2015 4:59

I don't even know how someone could get angry over what you was doing.

bhopejohnston 16

Tuesday 28 July 2015 6:18

Like he isn't looking at **** and jacking off either.

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I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 148

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

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You deserved it 6 488

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 466

You deserved it 5 464

Today, my friend who doesn’t pay bills, still lives at her parent’s rent free, and hasn't finished her Associate’s is debating what color she should order her iPhone 13 in. Meanwhile, I have a Master’s, pay an astronomical amount in mortgage and bills, and still have the iPhone 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 347

Today, my geriatric cat apparently leaked a little before he got to the litter box because when I went to use the bathroom, I slipped on the puddle. My left foot slammed into the kick panel of the cabinet and now my second toe is purple, swollen and tender. I may have broken my toe by slipping on cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 137

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 119

You deserved it 68 225

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 460

You deserved it 704