Family, Drugs and Health: Trippin'

Trippin'

By oxymorons - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 019

You deserved it 3 251

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Same thing different taste

By Pimp-Daddy - 21/07/2009 14:55 - Canada

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 483

You deserved it 14 149

By MyLifeSucks - 15/04/2013 22:11 - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 993

You deserved it 2 804

By failedparenting - 07/09/2016 16:44 - United States - Bronx

Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 839

You deserved it 1 731

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 511

Jagged Little Pill

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 22:01

Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 896

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 87

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 29/09/2011 17:44 - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 604

You deserved it 3 095

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 01:30

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 873

You deserved it 263

By CosmicJoke - 12/08/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 026

You deserved it 5 381

By GLX - 14/06/2017 17:00 - United States - Sand Springs

Today, a "friend" tried to sell me a digital camera that I recognized that was stolen from my home a week earlier, along with a few other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 758

You deserved it 260

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:11

Wow, looks like you could start up a family drug business!

NickCassell 2

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:11

Can I has some? :D

Comments

Darklozer23 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:45

um... Whoppdy ****** doo?

nicole8402 4

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:54

Schedule a "family movie night". Turn on what you recorded and watch them try to explain.

Pendragon525 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:24

How old are the kids, OP? If they are still minors, you can get into some real trouble keeping your meds where they can get them. It also probably invalidates your pain management contract; you might want to read it over & check your the opiate policy at your doctor's office/pain management clinic. Protect yourself: especially if your pain is chronic & not temporary. Good luck.

ifknh8usernames 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 7:36

how many times are you going to comment on the same FML?? just shut up already.

Pendragon525 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 10:33

Ah, you're paying attention to how much I post. How quaint.

Malinkrot 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 18:06

junkies are sneaky liars and they can do some pretty crazy things for opiates (and money to get opiates). my ex boyfriend stole over $10,000 from both his parents and spent it all on heroin and roxicodone. he even was able to break into his moms safe to get her oxycodone and cash. so I wouldn't assume the OP is just leaving his meds out in the open. a junkie in withdrawals is a very desperate person who WILL spend hours looking for hidden pills.

William523 5

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:27

Take a video of yourself sticking the pills up your ass, then have a family video night. And I don't mean the bottle, fool, I mean each individual pill!

Pendragon525 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:38

You may be on to something here. He should announce he had his Rx changed to suppositories. They might not be so quick to steal them then! (J/K, of course)