Work: Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant,... - FML

By confused_cashier - 12/06/2016 01:34 - United States - Herndon

Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant, a customer asked me how many chicken nuggets were in our 6 count chicken nuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 228

You deserved it 1 433

Taking stock

You tried

Serfs

By Anonymous - 21/09/2009 13:28 - Canada

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 154

You deserved it 12 516

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 799

By el_Jeffe_D - 11/09/2016 16:05 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 490

You deserved it 2 908

By TRAMATIZED - 08/09/2009 22:08 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 121

You deserved it 7 571

By Anonymous - 27/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of 5 years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes 3 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 150

By LadyLola - 25/11/2013 05:22 - United States - Dayton

Spicy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 208

You deserved it 6 551

Golden child

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 76

By Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia - 04/01/2015 01:30 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 166

You deserved it 5 901

By Anonymous - 11/04/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 583

You deserved it 2 129

By Anonymous - 07/11/2013 17:12 - Ireland

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 603

You deserved it 4 024

By asdf - 20/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 545

You deserved it 5 340

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 793

You deserved it 45 291

By Anonymous - 25/05/2016 07:53 - Australia - West Hoxton

Today my coworker, who I'm secretly in love with, asked me what my plans for the weekend were. I thought she might have been about to ask me out, so I said that I had no plans. She then rolled her eyes and said that she hates talking to, "boring people who shut down every conversation starter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 120

You deserved it 1 566

By Wet Britches - 24/11/2016 01:32 - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 625

You deserved it 1 551

Caught

By Kiki - 28/04/2021 08:03 - Belgium

Spicy

Today, I was home alone while my family was on a trip for 3 days at the beach. I walked around naked and did stuff, thinking they wouldn't know. After a whole evening of doing stuff like that, I noticed a camera. They were filming it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 419

Sorry

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 18:06 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 704

You deserved it 5 061

By Popscene - 26/09/2012 09:06 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 295

You deserved it 2 914

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 844

You deserved it 49 384

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 11 999

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 5 090

By wow. - 05/05/2014 03:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 548

You deserved it 8 122

I miss him

By Anonymous - 24/02/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 411

By Brandon Butler - 04/03/2011 09:22

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 2 983

By baddormgirl - 19/02/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 311

You deserved it 47 640

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 870

You deserved it 43 578

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 4 575

By Painfulfaceforme - 14/03/2010 02:30 - Canada

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 744

You deserved it 31 120

By trixieee - 04/08/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got a text from a "close female friend." The text was of her with no shirt on, and he quickly closed his phone. His explanation was that his female friends just want his opinion on how they look. I don't know what's worse, that there are several, or that he thinks I'm that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 176

By Shelly - 30/10/2010 18:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 053

You deserved it 12 552

By nobffs - 01/01/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 412

You deserved it 2 948

#1 Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 05:02

Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 411

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 524

You deserved it 4 924

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 16:30 - United States - Tampa

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 029

You deserved it 4 223

By Anonymous - 28/10/2018 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 375

You deserved it 421

By hellbound - 12/07/2013 16:35 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 732

You deserved it 54 748

By bigdaddy - 25/09/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 8 549

By ladeda - 07/03/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 380

You deserved it 6 743

Estoy Poopin

By Anonymous - 08/05/2018 07:00 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 057

You deserved it 512

What a jerk!

By traumatized house keeper - 08/09/2017 13:00 - Germany - M?nster

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 373

You deserved it 386

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 003

You deserved it 37 117

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Sunday 12 June 2016 16:59

If you say "five" you might get a bonus nugget for yourself!

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:02

The customer may always be right, but they are usually also pretty dumb.

Comments

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Sunday 12 June 2016 16:59

If you say "five" you might get a bonus nugget for yourself!

fargen 21

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:00

The blindness is astounding

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:26

illiteracy

Ladisa 28

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Sunday 12 June 2016 21:01

#2, #8: *Stupidity. Neither vision nor literacy was needed, since he knew he was asking about the six count of nuggets.

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:02

The customer may always be right, but they are usually also pretty dumb.

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Tuesday 14 June 2016 2:46

Hahahaha NO. The customer is usually wrong.

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Tuesday 14 June 2016 20:52

but its a question not a statement....

lol_damn_bro 14

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:02

You'd be surprised what people ask me at the McDonalds drive thru

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Monday 13 June 2016 1:53

"How much for a $1 menu?"

FutureMartian 4

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Monday 13 June 2016 6:51

"What's a cranberry orange muffin?"

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

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Monday 13 June 2016 17:08

The derivation of the Schrodinger equation?

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:02

Well, fast food restaurants are known to attract a certain clientele.

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:05

As someone who frequents fast food restaurants, I take offense to this. I actually wear a shirt when I go in. Shoes are optional, but by god I'm getting me some nuggets and fries no matter how many times the manager tells me not to squirt mustard on my face.

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Sunday 12 June 2016 21:07

I feel you Welshite. They may say "No shoes, no shirt, no service" but I'll be damned if I'm going to wear pants as well. We are sophisticated connoisseurs of the fast food cuisine, and none shall take our nuggets away from us.

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Monday 13 June 2016 7:31

Mc'Scuse me!!?

AlittleSanity 11

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:24

It could be that their order is constantly messed up and they only get 5 nuggets and are ensuring that they get all 6 nuggets .... Wouldn't be the first time I had to ask something stupid so my order wasn't messed up. I once asked for the egg mcmuffin and was asked if I wanted that as a meal, I said no just the mcmuffin sandwich by itself not a combo and they literally gave me a toasted mcmuffin without egg, cheese, or ham. So yeah sometimes I ask very stupid questions to ensure I get exactly what I asked for.... just saying.

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:38

I went into McDonald's once and they forgot the patty on my burger. I just got the bun with all the toppings -.-

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Sunday 12 June 2016 19:47

one time i just got a bun

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:28

Should've pissed hellfire into his right eye.

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Sunday 12 June 2016 18:54

clever. I see what you did there.

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Tuesday 14 June 2016 3:33

Heheh, that reference.

Viper_Revenge 10

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:40

Mah names Shathed and I can only count to 6! What the heck come after six?

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Monday 13 June 2016 1:55

Babies

Illen 1

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Sunday 12 June 2016 17:51

Alas, the catch-22 situation. If you snark '5', you'll be an asshole; if you answer '6', you'll still be considered an asshole. -_-

AverageAvarice 23

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Monday 13 June 2016 4:54

Or, you have to option of answering in a polite way and not making a big deal about the stupidity of the question. People sometimes ask stupid questions, that isn't really even an FML in my opinion. If you can't take dumb questions don't work in customer service. Unless you are condescending or appear annoyed in your delivery of information, you can't really be seen as an asshole. I've dealt with way worse in healthcare, even to the point of physical assault. I would have said six and kept it moving.

uncommonwater 5

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Sunday 12 June 2016 18:16

You could probably just left it as "working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant

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Monday 13 June 2016 7:34

"you could probably just left it..." ??

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 121

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 295