Work: Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and...

By Anonymous - United States - Westminster

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

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Work

Taking stock

Serious times

Get me out of here

By loveade11 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

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By llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

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37569

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By pear8head - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

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By Champs - Australia

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

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6138

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By Off_Road - United States - North Pole

Because reasons

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

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By Anonymous - 26/3/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Wake up bark

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

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By ehcanadianeh - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

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By Anon E. Mouse - United States - Waterville

Today, my ex told me about how much the person she left me for loves the lingerie I bought her. FML

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27895

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Noise Annoys

Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

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By liberatedwoman - Oman

Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman". She was disappointed and disturbed by this and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML

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By OhGreat - United States

Today, my dad went through my room while I was out and threw away the "inappropriate pictures" that he found. They're the nudes I've been working on for art class. FML

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39929

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By AntSimo - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

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By abby181 - United States

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Olympia

Sorry

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

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By shifala - Philippines - Caloocan

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

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By mdg - United States - North Windham

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

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By still single - 28/7/2021 22:01

Right in the kidneys

Today, after spending three weeks in the hospital for a kidney infection, I found out the girl I have been dating now has a girlfriend. I guess that’s why she couldn’t visit me this whole time. FML

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737

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By prin - United States

Today, someone asked my fiancée and I how we met. She said, "Well, it was just supposed to be a one night stand!" and laughed, right as I was about to take her hand and say, "It was love at first sight!" FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

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36107

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

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By Mnm54312 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

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By smbcolorado - United States

Family matters

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

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By BackIGo - 15/1/2021 02:01 - Australia

Back to the drawing board

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

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697

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147

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By KaD

Today, I lost my dream job after a week, after being told, "When I hired you, I wasn't honest. I wasn't looking to hire an examiner, I wanted someone to replace me so I can retire in a year. I don't have time to train you for that." FML

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By lazydude - 17/3/2021 11:01

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

Today, I got hired and now I have to work. FML

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354

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By ohlordhelpmenow - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

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29429

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By lostinthewoods

GPS FML

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. When we got to the bottom of the mountain, we discovered we were on the wrong side. We had to hike 13 extra miles to go around the mountain to get back to our car. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

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49864

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By unemployed - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Marion

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

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By Joe - United States

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

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By facebookdeception - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

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40121

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By Anon - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

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51411

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

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By JohnB - United States

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

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Top comments

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

COMMENTS

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

Welshite | 39

#5752874 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

Yeah, maybe in the UK. Too bad this is in the United States and referring to the "clearly marked weights" on the bags.

awkwardloveannie | 28

#5752885 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

but it took place in the US.

Welshite | 39

#5752901 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:19

Maybe I'm just delirious, but I think the comment was changed. It's too late to add an edit to my first one, but perhaps this will explain it.

JesterJosh | 5

#5752943 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:05

Regardless of what they meant I don't see how this is FML worthy. So you had a customer ask a stupid question. It probably took two seconds to clear up, oh poor you. YDI for being whiny.

JMichael | 25

#5752951 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:16

I'm hoping this is what he was referring to as well.

imishan | 3

#5753006 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 9:45

I would also assume he was asking about the price difference.

link1988 | 1

#5753024 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:22

not all of the people in the U.S. are idiots.

CrazyGirlfriend | 21

#5753108 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 12:32

as a cashier, I get asked that question a lot.....by dumb and smart people. usually they both mean between the two prices. nothing here states that the price of ice was known to the customer in any way.

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753228 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:50

Being a cashier also, I'm more used to stupid questions so it's easy for me to not notice a smart one for a change

skilova4lifezzz | 19

#5753264 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:43

#3 you're the idiot. He could have been asking "how many DOLLARS more is the 20 pound bag than the 8 pound bag?"...

By lzmo | 20

#5752873 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

... People these days ... *facepalm*

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5753135 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:03

implying that before 'these days' stupid people did not exist?

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753230 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:52

#2 you're 13 and judging the world? You've got ways to go

Vegeto30294 | 19

#5753245 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:14

For someone who was born within this century, you know a lot about "these days"

RedPillSucks | 31

#5753335 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 16:40

She's the reincarnation of TuPac.

Her born-again name is ThreePac-Forsure

By KawaiiCupcake | 14

#5752875 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

I thoughts its gonna be a weight joke...

NoShit_Sherly | 11

#5753405 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 18:06

Weight, what?

By Coachjoost79 | 14

#5752876 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

wow fyl

Dontstealmyname | 11

#5753035 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:47

No. It's more like fuck his life(the customer).
Then again, he might just be asking about the price difference without stating it clearly.

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

By mpsteve137 | 15

#5752890 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:11

How did she make it through life not knowing something like that

By paulpring | 9

#5752894 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:13

I think he was talking about the price difference:) if not then yeah. That sucks

By daniel_dd31 | 13

#5752896 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

OP: "Well sir, I think one contains more ice"

Customer: "are you sure?"

zRatio | 6

#5753162 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:30

By shorty6823 | 28

#5752897 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

I've had customers tell me my u scan was broken because it wouldn't move past the "quantity" page for produce. They didn't know what to enter.

By breakinlegs | 19

#5752898 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:17

You should have made something up about how the 8 pound bag is made from ancient iceberg run off. The 20 pound bag from distilled red sea water.