Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and...

By Anonymous - 12/11/2013 23:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

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Work

Understandable

Fashion Police

Workaholic

By "Kilamo" - 25/1/2020 14:00 - United States

Best words

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear "would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me"? with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2015 18:59 - United Kingdom - Wetheringsett

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

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By notateen - 13/11/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/4/2013 22:06 - United Kingdom - Kingston

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

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By stupidbug. - 9/4/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

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By Tori - 16/2/2011 07:40 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

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By sheyo - 5/3/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2015 17:00 - United States - Bonita Springs

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

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By ugh - 11/3/2013 11:33 - United States - Easthampton

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

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By MiserableMan - 10/6/2014 04:02 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

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By friedchicken - 12/11/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

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By Angelica - 26/5/2011 03:19 - Canada

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

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By Anonymous - 26/3/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

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By Anonymous - 28/5/2013 05:05 - United States

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

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By WolfieJL - 18/5/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

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By dypshyyt - 22/7/2014 23:20 - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

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By tracy4191 - 13/6/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

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By shewantsmedead - 26/1/2017 18:00

Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2015 14:33 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

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By wowthanks - 11/1/2013 19:37 - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

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By grossed out - 21/9/2016 09:21 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

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By Shelly - 13/6/2011 02:50 - United States

Oh hey how are you?

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/3/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

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By waiting till marriage, she said - 10/6/2015 15:28 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

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By that girl has a beard - 4/8/2015 07:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2016 13:45 - Maldives

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

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By "refines" - 23/9/2017 16:00

Today, I woke up to my living room covered in 8 cm of water. My $2k computer was on that floor. FML

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By Cheesey_Dorito - 10/9/2018 14:30

Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

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By SwingingGallows - 15/7/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

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By skiergal98 - 18/8/2019 02:00

Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML

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By Unemployed - 3/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I checked my email for the hundredth time, hoping to hear back from a potential employer about a job I really want. No response. Why? My email with resume attached has been sitting in my Outbox for the past week. I never actually sent it out in the first place. FML

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By Tired Girlfriend - 14/6/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

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By NestHead - 1/10/2013 17:32 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2015 21:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

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By HBC - 10/12/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

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By slappedright - 26/7/2011 23:19 - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/4/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

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Top comments

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

COMMENTS

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

Welshite | 39

#5752874 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

Yeah, maybe in the UK. Too bad this is in the United States and referring to the "clearly marked weights" on the bags.

awkwardloveannie | 28

#5752885 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

but it took place in the US.

Welshite | 39

#5752901 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:19

Maybe I'm just delirious, but I think the comment was changed. It's too late to add an edit to my first one, but perhaps this will explain it.

JesterJosh | 5

#5752943 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:05

Regardless of what they meant I don't see how this is FML worthy. So you had a customer ask a stupid question. It probably took two seconds to clear up, oh poor you. YDI for being whiny.

JMichael | 25

#5752951 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:16

I'm hoping this is what he was referring to as well.

imishan | 3

#5753006 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 9:45

I would also assume he was asking about the price difference.

link1988 | 1

#5753024 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:22

not all of the people in the U.S. are idiots.

CrazyGirlfriend | 21

#5753108 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 12:32

as a cashier, I get asked that question a lot.....by dumb and smart people. usually they both mean between the two prices. nothing here states that the price of ice was known to the customer in any way.

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753228 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:50

Being a cashier also, I'm more used to stupid questions so it's easy for me to not notice a smart one for a change

skilova4lifezzz | 19

#5753264 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:43

#3 you're the idiot. He could have been asking "how many DOLLARS more is the 20 pound bag than the 8 pound bag?"...

By lzmo | 20

#5752873 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

... People these days ... *facepalm*

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5753135 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:03

implying that before 'these days' stupid people did not exist?

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753230 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:52

#2 you're 13 and judging the world? You've got ways to go

Vegeto30294 | 19

#5753245 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:14

For someone who was born within this century, you know a lot about "these days"

RedPillSucks | 31

#5753335 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 16:40

She's the reincarnation of TuPac.

Her born-again name is ThreePac-Forsure

By KawaiiCupcake | 14

#5752875 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

I thoughts its gonna be a weight joke...

NoShit_Sherly | 11

#5753405 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 18:06

Weight, what?

By Coachjoost79 | 14

#5752876 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

wow fyl

Dontstealmyname | 11

#5753035 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:47

No. It's more like fuck his life(the customer).
Then again, he might just be asking about the price difference without stating it clearly.

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

By mpsteve137 | 15

#5752890 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:11

How did she make it through life not knowing something like that

By paulpring | 9

#5752894 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:13

I think he was talking about the price difference:) if not then yeah. That sucks

By daniel_dd31 | 13

#5752896 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

OP: "Well sir, I think one contains more ice"

Customer: "are you sure?"

zRatio | 6

#5753162 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:30

By shorty6823 | 28

#5752897 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

I've had customers tell me my u scan was broken because it wouldn't move past the "quantity" page for produce. They didn't know what to enter.

By breakinlegs | 19

#5752898 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:17

You should have made something up about how the 8 pound bag is made from ancient iceberg run off. The 20 pound bag from distilled red sea water.