Work: Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and...

By Anonymous - United States - Westminster

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

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Work

Mother of the year

Thanks for the miracle

Intense

By top dog! - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Monson

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

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By lunab123 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

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By StairwayToEvan92

Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

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By notkatvond - United States

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML

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By katiekat - United States

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

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By veiny - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

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By Peekaman - United States

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

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By fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc - Denmark - Herning

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/7/2020 23:01

Caught spunk-handed

Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML

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By 16seconds - United States

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

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By smallfrie32

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

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By LL - United States - Seattle

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

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By whatisthisidonteven - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Tucson

Today, I missed out on the chance of buying a great used car because my loan wasn't approved. Why wasn't it approved? Because the vehicle has +100k miles on it. I wish they would've told me that when I applied for the loan. FML

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By Nekro_Kat - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

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By screw life - United States

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

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By SilverZephyr - United States - Marion

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

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By fubuggie - United States - Saint Albans

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

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By dumbasdogshit - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

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By crippled shopper - United States - Streamwood

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

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By embarrassed2 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

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By foreveryoung - France

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

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By No name - Australia

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

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By ihavepinkbackpac - United States

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Davis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

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By RedEye - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

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By jen - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

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By Chaosfigure

Today, after my driving instructor told me I should pass without any worries at all, I completely failed. I was hit by another car. While parked. FML

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By duhasiangirl - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

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By sleeplessinID - United States

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

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By ddhaley1 - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

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By Lizzielollipop816 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

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Top comments

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

COMMENTS

By imchacon22 | 19

#5752872 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

Maybe the customer meant the difference in price?

Welshite | 39

#5752874 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

Yeah, maybe in the UK. Too bad this is in the United States and referring to the "clearly marked weights" on the bags.

awkwardloveannie | 28

#5752885 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

but it took place in the US.

Welshite | 39

#5752901 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:19

Maybe I'm just delirious, but I think the comment was changed. It's too late to add an edit to my first one, but perhaps this will explain it.

JesterJosh | 5

#5752943 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:05

Regardless of what they meant I don't see how this is FML worthy. So you had a customer ask a stupid question. It probably took two seconds to clear up, oh poor you. YDI for being whiny.

JMichael | 25

#5752951 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 8:16

I'm hoping this is what he was referring to as well.

imishan | 3

#5753006 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 9:45

I would also assume he was asking about the price difference.

link1988 | 1

#5753024 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:22

not all of the people in the U.S. are idiots.

CrazyGirlfriend | 21

#5753108 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 12:32

as a cashier, I get asked that question a lot.....by dumb and smart people. usually they both mean between the two prices. nothing here states that the price of ice was known to the customer in any way.

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753228 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:50

Being a cashier also, I'm more used to stupid questions so it's easy for me to not notice a smart one for a change

skilova4lifezzz | 19

#5753264 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:43

#3 you're the idiot. He could have been asking "how many DOLLARS more is the 20 pound bag than the 8 pound bag?"...

By lzmo | 20

#5752873 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:05

... People these days ... *facepalm*

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5753135 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:03

implying that before 'these days' stupid people did not exist?

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5753230 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 14:52

#2 you're 13 and judging the world? You've got ways to go

Vegeto30294 | 19

#5753245 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:14

For someone who was born within this century, you know a lot about "these days"

RedPillSucks | 31

#5753335 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 16:40

She's the reincarnation of TuPac.

Her born-again name is ThreePac-Forsure

By KawaiiCupcake | 14

#5752875 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

I thoughts its gonna be a weight joke...

NoShit_Sherly | 11

#5753405 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 18:06

Weight, what?

By Coachjoost79 | 14

#5752876 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:06

wow fyl

Dontstealmyname | 11

#5753035 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 10:47

No. It's more like fuck his life(the customer).
Then again, he might just be asking about the price difference without stating it clearly.

By JasonUMN | 15

#5752883 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:09

Hopefully you responded with the answer 12 pounds.

By mpsteve137 | 15

#5752890 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:11

How did she make it through life not knowing something like that

By paulpring | 9

#5752894 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:13

I think he was talking about the price difference:) if not then yeah. That sucks

By daniel_dd31 | 13

#5752896 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

OP: "Well sir, I think one contains more ice"

Customer: "are you sure?"

zRatio | 6

#5753162 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 13:30

By shorty6823 | 28

#5752897 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:15

I've had customers tell me my u scan was broken because it wouldn't move past the "quantity" page for produce. They didn't know what to enter.

By breakinlegs | 19

#5752898 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 7:17

You should have made something up about how the 8 pound bag is made from ancient iceberg run off. The 20 pound bag from distilled red sea water.