Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, my momma ran into her opp and fists started flying. She grabbed the nearest thing near her and started swinging. That thing was my precious little boy, and now we're at the emergency room, telling him he fell down the stairs. FML
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Top comments
_chrissy_ 0
Who does that? Why? What did you do to deserve that?
Muffinish 0
She should have that stick shoved up her bum, see how encouraging she is then.
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Comments (152)
sparxva 12
Drop the kid's pants and spank him.
Duckasaurus 0
No, dude, he'll be arrested and then he'll be a pedophile the rest of his life.
sparxva 12
Bare your arms, make a fist and start walking toward the bitch. Figure the rest out on your own.
kmgentil 0
HIT 'EM BACK
Mulada 0
Only one sensible thing to do; sharpen the stick and jam it into her eye.
Vertoule 7
That's where you grab a coat hanger and perform the abortion she so clearly missed... Sure, it may be a few years late, but it'll be understandible.
icertainlysuck 0
Id take that kid and throw that little bitch off a cliff
towell777 0
bahahahahhahah XD thats hilarious!!!!
Guairdean 0
Have the kid arrested for assault and file charges against the parents for instigating the assault. Her thumbs up should be sufficient proof of her involvement. A night it jail would do both of them some good.
Rota 0
You should have raped the mom. Then the child.
xHaniffax 0
Did you like go out with the kid's mum? and then piss her off somehow? If you didn't then you should stick the little bastard up a tree. His mum should teach him some respect towards other people.
Nightfallz 0
assault. call da police