Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
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Top comments
maz95 17
Your dog was just showing off what your crush is missing.
electrorange 13
Maybe a preview of things to come!
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Comments (80)
phooboy 10
Your dog took a whiff of your raging pheromones. It's only natural.
karlcolt45 19
“my owner is a generous lover! see!? why are you running?"
RtardSupport 2
I think your dog was marking his territory..
AniEve 4
Too much love, too much love! >3
noelasis94 18
The dog is just using your down time productively so don't be mad, plus you made your dream girl laugh son bonus points.
buddy51 23
Sure hope you said "I meant to do that!" to your crush! That phrase will cover all your embarrassing moments by making it look like you're a comic genius with a trained humping dog! You'll be a legend rather than a chump with a leg covered with poodle semen!
supercrazyelmo 8
Awkward
RedFox12 7
I just thought I would point out that this is the 15,000th FML from the USA. We should throw a party.
taylorluvsbieber 2
your dog is a perv
rachel_h 14
HAHAHA!! That would be soo embarresing!