Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
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Top comments
DanShowsNoMercy 13
Leave that to your dad.
Googolman 29
That's just the way life is.
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Comments (103)
bobslawnservice 16
I can't for the life of me figure out how that lame non sequitur ever became a cultural catch phrase. Maybe this is the first sign of really getting old - not being abe to relate to the kids of the day. Damn those kids even caused a mid life crisis. FML.
tj5810 21
Fred Ferguson. Every news reporters nightmare. Youtube him. This is what our world has become. lol
siggy_mcsigx 22
hopefully this will pass...like yolo...
cmo333 10
"Cockshart"
pussystank 18
Why so many vaginal FMLs?
iloveunicornc 9
Unoriginal cockshart? Who says that??
pussystank 18
A darn hipster, that's 99% of the FML community.
OhNoAGhost 18
The FML in this situation should be for the person who realizes they're riding around, shouting crude remarks at strangers from a car window.
tj5810 21
I do believe it's "**** her right in the pussy". You should have corrected them. They still get 0 points for not doing it in front of a media camera.
Queenie2014 11
"Cockshart." I like that
PixelPokey 12
cockshart?
teamS_fml 7
you should if she is hot.
ginamori77 7
the quote is "just **** her RIGHT in the pussy" and its better then being the one who has a stupid and yells it out your car