Health: Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom...

By John - 24/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 131

You deserved it 3 244

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Same thing different taste

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 031

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 071

You deserved it 2 704

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 805

You deserved it 37 573

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 222

You deserved it 2 467

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 43 263

Tough guy, huh?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 44 276

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 939

You deserved it 11 734

By Zizi - 04/07/2015 13:18 - Norway - Mosj?en

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 1 755

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 580

You deserved it 3 627

Catching my breath

By Hamish - 22/07/2021 06:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I had an asthma attack while walking home with my friends. As I was struggling to breathe, they thought I was attention-seeking and left me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 96

juanaranda1015 4

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:01

at least you didn't get robbed. hope you get better

mozeltov 7

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:03

Rick rolled

Comments

alexandrab 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:21

take it easy and get some rest.

jkrist 7

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:25

I'm sure op is glad he had his fake ID with him

jkrist 7

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:27

just should've showed it earlier

mimikinsz 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:35

wow that sucks I wouldve called the cops asap!!

LizzJizz 16

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:40

Pooor johnny boy :/

TheJessica10022 6

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:51

rick rolled!!

athena3100 9

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:52

Sounds like it hurts like hell. Axe kick?? ...whats that? "=.=

MovingOn09 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:53

anyone named John deserves it

alex6946 10

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:54

aww, i feel sorry for you :( I think you need a hug, but that. might hurt :o

alexxis69 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:06

Hahahaha! I just pissed my pants.

Suburban_Dude 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:08

Dont try to cover your actions up!!! A Truth X Doubt Y Lie

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The Top

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 394

You deserved it 3 447

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 1 040

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 1 441

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 1 666

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I agree, your life sucks 57 249

You deserved it 11 486

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 6 897

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 724

You deserved it 10 350

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 210

You deserved it 4 473