Miscellaneous: Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend,...

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 4 325

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 577

You deserved it 10 475

By mr_dinzaster - 30/05/2019 22:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 1 862

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 635

You deserved it 13 124

By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 111

You deserved it 3 467

By Jeff - 15/07/2014 20:37 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 609

You deserved it 11 800

By Gamergirl137 - 16/01/2016 02:28 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 478

You deserved it 2 602

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 903

You deserved it 5 016

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 787

You deserved it 3 901

Dodged some bullshit

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 181

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 478

You deserved it 3 456

bteundeadmidget 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:10

Sharing is caring op?

xCrazyWhiteGirlx 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:15

Burgar Bombing, the new fad

Comments

123josie123 11

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:22

Ew fyl OP... I hope you trashed it right after.

Clarese 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:24

I'm sorry, but that's kinda funny.

obamathellama 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:25

Sorry OP....I was hungry.

sjhill 32

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:25

oh wow! How awkward!

Nwthatzfunny 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:26

forget dat....datz a fight

L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18

Thursday 26 January 2012 17:07

Why do you write "that" like "dat", is it so hard to add a couple more letters?

Jaxx66 21

Thursday 26 January 2012 17:49

Oh no! He's back. >_< I thought he got removed or tired of the thumbs down and left.

desireev 17

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:13

C'mon now #20! it's not 'that' hard to put 'that' one more letter in to 'that' word, 'that'.. It's just one more letter! Let's all say it together! 'T-H-A-T... THAT'! 'Dat' sounds like the name of a menacing, flying insect. One more time! 'THAT'! :)

WordSmyth 2

Friday 27 January 2012 0:30

"Gimme dat wattle Waah! Wah!" That's all I can think of when I see "dat" and other bastardizations of words. It sound like a baby trying to speak, but unable to comprehend or enunciate properly so he omits syllables or consonants.

ravenxcorvinus 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:45

now that's boss! lol

reenkaur 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:51

why did your bf take you along to such a place! my bf would be a little more protective than that

Shleebs 12

Thursday 26 January 2012 17:23

It's a liquor store....Not a crack house in the ghetto.

sammyjanette 17

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:50

#39 as opposed to a crack house not located in the ghetto?

Shleebs 12

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:56

#89 -- Yes. The ghetto makes everything scarier, or didn't you know? I was just trying to come up with an extreme scenario as to where it would be unsafe for someone to venture. You know, painting a picture.

downtime 12

Friday 27 January 2012 5:57

51, I wonder if this is the same idiot who considers her boyfriend her own personal bodyguard to protect her from murderers and rapists...

copo37 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 16:54

He's just helping you finish a burger so now your boyfriend has to no excuse to procrastinate the hibbity dibbity with you. You should thank the hungry drunk. You also have no excuse to use the absurd abbreviation FOD.