Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gracehi 33
Catfish?
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Cat burglar?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
buymevickis92 26
I've said this and I will say it again cats are assholes but I love them lol sorry OP
amanda182 19
That's happened to me so many times it doesn't even affect me anymore lol
Krispies_fml 17
It's unfortunate you couldn't film it. Who knows, you could have join the Super-Select-Underworld-Club of famous cat's videos owner! ;-)
Skoff_fml 27
Cats; so sleek, so cunning, so destructive.
interesting33 37
FML community: Would you advise going downstairs if you thought you were being burgled, or would you stay upstairs? Just curious.
hockeygoalie13 15
I would stay upstairs and call the cops. Lives are more important than objects and you never know whether the burglar would become violent or not.
Brandi_Faith 34
It's smarter to stay upstairs, but I think the natural instinct is to check things out. Especially because you know there's most likely a logical explanation and that its probably not a burglar even though it's your first crazy thought. And no one wants to call the cops when it was probably the cat or something that fell over. So I understand op going to check things out first, especially because she owns a cat. It's a different story if you hear glass break, things being moved around, with footsteps, possibly even seeing a flashlight. Probably best to wait a minute to hear if there are footsteps or not. But if you own an animal you probably always assume it's the animal. So understandable on op's part.
PANDORUM89 21
I would thrashed on the floor laughing. he made his bed now let him fight his way out of it. go grab some popcorn lol cats always crack me up
hardy24 9
Hilarious
A_Wildflower 17
This is the best (and cutest) thing I've read all day.
iRambo 12
That's why the cat have 9 lives.
iRambo 12
Man, you guys crack me up! I'm so purring over it!