Dreams and Liar: Private

Private

By E.. - 20/10/2021 20:00

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 288

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Same thing different taste

It's not for everyone

By Stacey - 07/05/2022 22:00

Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 162

God laughs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 08:17 - United States

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 261

You deserved it 15 375

Say nothing

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 00:58 - United States - Edmond

Today, right now, my husband is on the phone with his friend. Last night I had a dream I was cheating on him with this friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 791

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 5 526

Shivering Herbert

By Anonymous - 15/04/2020 05:00

Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 524

You deserved it 356

By Anonymous - 16/05/2014 21:07 - United States

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 410

You deserved it 10 001

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 136

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 353

You deserved it 3 417

By who_cares - 09/07/2015 11:20 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 571

You deserved it 10 795

By bride - 14/02/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 025

You deserved it 10 074

Chazzster 28

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:06

You are human. We all have fantasies and we are not responsible for our dreams.

Jon Tessler 14

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:12

why. would you lie about a dream?

Comments

Chazzster 28

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:06

You are human. We all have fantasies and we are not responsible for our dreams.

Jon Tessler 14

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:12

why. would you lie about a dream?

Aiden89 23

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:33

Surely you can’t be serious?

JasonThorn 19

Saturday 23 October 2021 15:03

I believe she was serious. And don't call her Shirley.

Plop 17

Wednesday 20 October 2021 21:36

Did you dream about his naked gun?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 October 2021 22:58

Surely, you can't feel guilty for fantasizing about a man who died over a decade ago. And don't call me Shirley.

phybreawptic 13

Thursday 21 October 2021 11:54

Does he often ask you if you're dreaming about Frank Drebin?

eellik 10

Monday 25 October 2021 21:24

From the council of men, we understand.

Keywords

Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours Animals Health Insects Plumbing Awkward Money Insurance Love AITA Roommate Cheating Pregnancy Wanker Intimacy Mental health Parents Relatable

The Top

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 168

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, I got promoted. By promoted, I mean, given a much harder job with no training and no extra pay because someone went on maternity leave. They've already hired someone for my old position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 143

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 433

You deserved it 91 853

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 290

You deserved it 4 099

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 220

You deserved it 4 954

Today, I called in sick to work. My boss told me there's no excuse for sick days, because she once came in to work while suffering from pneumonia. Apparently, that's supposed to be impressive and inspiring. I don't know about you, but bad medical decisions aren't very inspirational to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 84

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 183

You deserved it 1 992