Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word... - FML

By blonde moment - 23/06/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 597

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 00:19 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 946

You deserved it 7 991

By arrow - 23/02/2016 20:39 - United States - Pomona

Today, the officers of my archery club forgot to check if anybody was behind the targets looking for arrows. I got hit in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 654

You deserved it 2 010

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 666

You deserved it 3 837

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

Razor sharp focus

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 121

By BCBUDDY - 07/05/2011 15:29 - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 435

You deserved it 91 879

Right in the miniature tree

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 16:41 - Netherlands - Veldhoven

Today, my parents got mad at me because I laughed when they called the bullseye "bonsai" while watching darts. They've always thought it was bonsai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 568

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 17/01/2017 14:06

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 754

You deserved it 1 645

By ke - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 30 875

Don't panic!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 15:00

Today, I had a meeting with our partner company from Japan. I was instructed beforehand on bowing but when the time came I panicked, stood way too close, and headbutted their boss in the boobs. I was “politely” asked to leave the meeting. I’m so embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 759

Next

Top comments

Yudith 24

Sunday 23 June 2019 15:47

From now on, I will always call archery "Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu".

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:46

You. I like you.

Comments

Yudith 24

Sunday 23 June 2019 15:47

From now on, I will always call archery "Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu".

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 23 June 2019 16:46

You. I like you.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 23 June 2019 17:33

I call it Hunger Games Guns

TxKitten79 10

Sunday 23 June 2019 20:41

Stuff like that happens to me. Ince my husband or friends laughingly give me the right word, I just say, "Yes! Thank you. Words hard."

Chris Cowperthwait 4

Monday 24 June 2019 2:56

fun fact a master of archery is referred to as a toxophilite

alycion 38

Monday 24 June 2019 11:08

I’m laughing so hard. With my concussion my word loss is worse than normal from my meds. I’ve been coming up with good ones. But you have topped them all. Take a bow.

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 25 June 2019 10:06

that is so adorable

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Thursday 27 June 2019 4:50

this doesnt even make sense!

Jjjjjjjam24 3

Wednesday 10 July 2019 4:07

Weeb

Maks Lesniewski 7

Thursday 12 December 2019 8:35

As a die-hard Naruto fan, I laughed at this so hard!

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The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, one of my closest friends is an antivaxxer. Neither I nor my family are guaranteed to survive Covid, even though we are vaccinated, and I just can't understand why she will not get the jab when she knows so many people have died from Covid, while only a handful have died from the vax DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, and now she may hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 869

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 810

You deserved it 6 753

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 900

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 96

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 656

You deserved it 8 646