Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
Creepy and an idiot. A winning combination.
Xaviexis 6
I guess she'd hit you right back. I figure though that anyone who thinks OP deserves it condones physical abuse as a justifiable response to an admittedly somewhat inappropriate comment. If the genders were reversed and a guy hit a girl OP for making a similar comment, would the OP still deserve it? I smell a double standard here.
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Comments (158)
emilymaevancore 4
hahah that's tooo funny :p
CSRozell 4
did you get her number?
RedPillSucks 33
Yes. Her number was conveniently written on her knuckles. The ink was still wet.
Xaviexis 6
I think 99% of people are reasonably intelligent (though not exactly brilliant) for 99% of the time. 1% of the time, normally intelligent people let the complexities of life distract them to the point where they end up putting batteries in backwards even though they know better, not noticing that they're about to walk into a canoe, or confusing security monitors for regular TV screens. That's why, when someone does do something that dumb, I don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they're always that stupid since usually they're caught at a bad moment. Granted, there is the occasional person who really is consistently that stupid but if all you have is a brief glimpse at someone doing something dumb, it's usually impossible to tell if it's just a momentary lapse or a frequent occurrence. That said, it was quite stupid to mistake the security monitor display for regular TV display but I'll need a lot more evidence before I can confidently state that you really are that stupid (on a regular basis, anyways).
maddie2015 0
Hahah smooth move.
justanotherbird 19
Young and hot? Dude, that makes you sound like a pedophile.
ohmandapants 17
And you didn't see yourself in back of her on the screen? How close to her was this camera?
vince345 0
This just made my nite lmao!!
bizarre_ftw 22
You're oblivious And sexist!! Wow! You're skilled!!!
tragicnightmare 15
lol haha that's kinda funny
DogmaT_fml 4
Apparently she would hit you too!