Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zebidee 9
Creepy and an idiot. A winning combination.
Xaviexis 6
I guess she'd hit you right back. I figure though that anyone who thinks OP deserves it condones physical abuse as a justifiable response to an admittedly somewhat inappropriate comment. If the genders were reversed and a guy hit a girl OP for making a similar comment, would the OP still deserve it? I smell a double standard here.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
Nhk_fml 4
Lol
e2m2cent 0
psycho much.... but yeah u deserve an award for ur observational talents :)
annikini09 0
Sounds like something I would do
sciencekidster1 8
Just be grateful she was THE security
Xaviexis 6
Everyone here probably does something stupid about 1% of the time which is just often enough that sometimes a stranger will catch you doing it and will walk away thinking "Gosh, that person is stupid, I wonder how he's still alive, and, most importantly, what's for lunch?". Just because you catch someone doing something idiotic once doesn't mean they're any dumber than usual people. Granted, some people really are stupid with disproportionately frequency. One instance, like confusing the security camera for a TV because you didn't take a few seconds to think because you were distracted by something you'd hit is not enough evidence for a final verdict even if, in that particular instance, what OP did was legitimately quite stupid.
justanotherhuman 21
^ pro.
HollyDolly660 8
Why would she punch you? Obviously you're too dumb to realize it's security monitor. She shouldn't take it so personally. If she's that insane, she should be thankful SOMEONE wants to bang her.
IronBrig4 3
This has to be made up. You were in a VIDEO store? Do those even exist anymore?
Jon_Jon 0
You still go to a video store?
nightops 8
Man..can't anyone take a compliment?
AspenGirl12 0
Haha that's awesome bro. I wouldnt be saying fml I'd be laughing...did she punch hard?