Intimacy: Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 3 356

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 229

You deserved it 6 617

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 3 169

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 707

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 354

You deserved it 2 239

By csor027 - 29/09/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 556

You deserved it 4 620

Missed you too

By ooook - 16/02/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 264

You deserved it 11 580

Wanker

By Anonymous - 30/03/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 541

You deserved it 4 565

I was bored before I even began

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my ex started our conversation with, "How are you?" I asked whether this was just a way of greeting me, or if he genuinely wanted to know. He affirmed that he really wanted to know, then proceeded to talk about his work for the next two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 211

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 103

You deserved it 3 780

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 744

You deserved it 2 727

brookenicolee29 27

Friday 12 June 2015 9:45

Someone has seen a little too much ****.

Fern_Gully 20

Friday 12 June 2015 9:48

That old dog wanted you to teach him some new tricks... O.o

Comments

rohaanncool 15

Friday 12 June 2015 9:44

hell of an old man :D

brookenicolee29 27

Friday 12 June 2015 9:45

Someone has seen a little too much ****.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 10:24

What a gilf

ACTIONbl00dROCK 18

Friday 12 June 2015 18:41

You are all over this god forsaken site.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 20:05

#42 let it happen

MDoremis 38

Friday 12 June 2015 9:46

What a creeper.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 10:25

She made him creepy with that sweet sweet storegoing charm

Fern_Gully 20

Friday 12 June 2015 9:48

That old dog wanted you to teach him some new tricks... O.o

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 10:26

Mine was better

onlychildFTW 33

Friday 12 June 2015 10:46

No it wasn't.

Fern_Gully 20

Friday 12 June 2015 11:06

The fact that you felt the need to state yours was "better", proves otherwise...

rohaanncool 15

Friday 12 June 2015 11:51

he was just being a silly kid, give him credit for trying atleast.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 20:07

Im just jealous you beat me to saying it

igg125 30

Friday 12 June 2015 9:48

I wonder why he thought you were a hooker.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Friday 12 June 2015 10:26

& you're completely sure that this is what he thought of her? He more than likely just read too much into her friendliness.

jgwyh 18

Friday 12 June 2015 9:51

Don't flatter yourself, he probably just wanted a *******.

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 10:29

Naw thats a little over the top. He probably just wanted a good ol fashioned

cheeeksss 29

Friday 12 June 2015 13:04

Because that's MUCH better.

Exaspera 54

Friday 12 June 2015 9:51

Maybe he thinks that ALL women who give the time of day to him are hookers?

spinda 22

Friday 12 June 2015 9:53

ColonelCusswords 24

Friday 12 June 2015 10:30

He mighta been sexy though

gosh_mate 30

Friday 12 June 2015 9:54

Be nice to the outcasts they said ...

gosh_mate 30

Friday 12 June 2015 9:56

He's probably sad and lonely to be honest. But it's not nice to think he only gave you that time to get something from you.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

Today, I'd thought I was somewhat friends with a girl, the only person I actually talked to outside of school, but after overhearing a discussion I think she may actually have restricted me on Instagram, because I've "always pissed me off anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 51 798

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 1 316

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 523

You deserved it 5 741

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 788

You deserved it 13 053

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 098

You deserved it 3 187

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 51 509

Same thing different taste

PUA

Missed you too

Wanker

I was bored before I even began

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