By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 414
You deserved it 4 353

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Top comments

Sarah_moustache 9

Daily offering of turd? Hahaha. Sorry, but that made my day.

They were coming to collect the offering.

Comments

That is so terrible! I could not even imagine. :(

Really? Cause I can, and it's pretty damn hilarious.

sorry4partyrockn 0

*queue dramatic music* And thats when you've got to fight to the finish!

LiveLaughFML 10

If you lived to tell the story, good for you! I probably would have had a panic attack right then and there.

I love how this was written XD

46- it's not "shitting yourself" if your on the toilet with the full intention to let out

It reminds me if the black and white movie with the giant ants invading…Anyone know what I'm talking about?

OP's exquisite vocabulary is the reason I got out of bed today.

Lol I'm on the toilet now and I could not resist checking to see if there were any bugs below.

MyPetNinja 14

70- Empire of the Ants. My old stepdad made me watch that movie when I was seven, I'm still confused at what the point of the movie was.

I know this is stupid, but what does YDI and OP stand for

You Deserve It and Original Poster

I would of literally shit myself lol

103-But doesn't it remind you of it??

You Dumb Idiot, and Odd People

chocolemonade 6

Ants on a log?

53 - there is a lot of people thumbing you down but you do make a valid point..

Oh I already knew what ydi meant but I always thought op was other person i know stupid but I wouldn't know what else it'd be

Vegeto30294 19

113 - Young Dicks Invading and Orgasming Penises

i probably wouldve been pissing and got it everywhere getting them off of me

as a heads up if you got Qs about something.here youre better off going to google youll get trolled with random words and "go to google"s

113- don't listen to the stupid commenters friend it stands for Yuma death institute and orbital penis ^_^

livefreelylee 0

haha omg me too

Showtime00 0

This made me flinch. haha >:3

jesscarrr 10

That's the fanciest term for 'taking a shit' I've heard yet!

Rei_Ayanami 18

70 - The movie is "Them" it's a real classic.

take a dump on the ants

Sarah_moustache 9

Daily offering of turd? Hahaha. Sorry, but that made my day.

He also gives an offering of liquid gold as soon as he wakes up.

astarwarsfan 0

I am now going to use these phrases in my conversations.

Your offering didn't please the porcelain throne.

You pic made my day

Well good, that's the point of wording it that way

1. Make me laugh 2. U have the best birthday ever

12vballchick12 5

I love the wording to this FML! "My daily offer of turd on the porcelain throne..."

The ants emerged.. Very visual you should be a writter!

Anyone else feel a tingle on their leg while reading this FML?

unitedfan11 0

I wish my toilet looked like a porcelain throne : (

m16agent 3

Clearly the porcelain gods were not happy with his offering

It's just so poetic... :)

They were coming to collect the offering.

Pfft, turd? The gods demand blood!!!

eternalkaos 7

Ewwww

^ your.....pic.....has.....me..... Speechless!!!!!

Really? Because her pic has me running to hide my $1 bills

wait blood from anywhere? or the poopshoot?

GVirdi 11

I thought the grasshoppers collect the offering? (bugs life reference)

Incredibly_Dope 0

Give it to the high and might king ant

They were just coming to make their offering as well, no need to be frightened!

I would freak out as well.

SaMmIMonster96 6

That makes two of us :[

I guess 3 of you cuz OP freaked out to

perdix 29

Eat more fiber. The god was not pleased with your offering.

Af least OP didn't drop their phone in

85- I thought that's what the FML was going to about when I first started reading it..

toxicpinkcandy 10

Lmao (:

*Epic Announcer Voice* Just when you thought it was safe to sit on the "Porcelain Throne" Duh Duh Duh!

If the log rolls over we'll all be dead.

That song was the first thing I thought of. HAHAHA.

Chixken 6

I would have freaked out too If that happened to me.

Morgannnnuhhh 1

That sounds like a horror movie....terrifying.

At least ants are mostly harmless, it could of been worse. O.O

Morgannnnuhhh 1

Haha, yeah. Coulda been snakes, or spiders.

Unless they are fire ants

Or cockroaches ..

or velvet ants or least thats what we called em in oaklahoma. fuckers stings were apparently so terrible youd be on your knees instantly