Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
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By
Sarah_moustache
| 9
Daily offering of turd? Hahaha. Sorry, but that made my day.
By
aFreedom127
| 9
They were coming to collect the offering.
COMMENTS
By
lexa1love
| 16
That is so terrible! I could not even imagine.
:(
:(
Reply
sydie5
| 12
Really? Cause I can, and it's pretty damn hilarious.
Reply
sorry4partyrockn
| 0
*queue dramatic music* And thats when you've got to fight to the finish!
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
If you lived to tell the story, good for you! I probably would have had a panic attack right then and there.
Reply
YtotsDI
| 0
I love how this was written XD
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piccolocl
| 0
46- it's not "shitting yourself" if your on the toilet with the full intention to let out
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BostonBruinsFan
| 8
It reminds me if the black and white movie with the giant ants invading…Anyone know what I'm talking about?
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scottieclark
| 4
Ew!! That gross.
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RrLSf19
| 0
OP's exquisite vocabulary is the reason I got out of bed today.
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NuTrees
| 9
Lol I'm on the toilet now and I could not resist checking to see if there were any bugs below.
Reply
MyPetNinja
| 14
70- Empire of the Ants. My old stepdad made me watch that movie when I was seven, I'm still confused at what the point of the movie was.
Reply
flatfatmat
| 3
I know this is stupid, but what does YDI and OP stand for
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gr82bhere
| 9
You Deserve It and Original Poster
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copy125
| 0
I would of literally shit myself lol
Reply
BostonBruinsFan
| 8
103-But doesn't it remind you of it??
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acccccccc
| 1
You Dumb Idiot, and Odd People
Reply
chocolemonade
| 6
Ants on a log?
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nava1210
| 12
53 - there is a lot of people thumbing you down but you do make a valid point..
Reply
calebhampton
| 1
Oh I already knew what ydi meant but I always thought op was other person i know stupid but I wouldn't know what else it'd be
Reply
Vegeto30294
| 19
113 - Young Dicks Invading and Orgasming Penises
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deadman93
| 7
i probably wouldve been pissing and got it everywhere getting them off of me
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deadman93
| 7
as a heads up if you got Qs about something.here youre better off going to google youll get trolled with random words and "go to google"s
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Ghouly_fml
| 7
113- don't listen to the stupid commenters friend it stands for Yuma death institute and orbital penis
^_^
^_^
Reply
livefreelylee
| 0
haha omg me too
Reply
Showtime00
| 0
This made me flinch. haha >:3
Reply
jesscarrr
| 10
That's the fanciest term for 'taking a shit' I've heard yet!
Reply
Rei_Ayanami
| 18
70 - The movie is "Them" it's a real classic.
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 21
take a dump on the ants
Reply
AnonymousTroll
| 2
Kill it with fire!
By
Sarah_moustache
| 9
Daily offering of turd? Hahaha. Sorry, but that made my day.
Reply
grahambertus
| 11
He also gives an offering of liquid gold as soon as he wakes up.
Reply
astarwarsfan
| 0
I am now going to use these phrases in my conversations.
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zachherbert
| 10
Your offering didn't please the porcelain throne.
Reply
iceman420son
| 7
You pic made my day
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TheSmoothDude
| 10
^ creep
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Unlucky_Gun
| 0
Well good, that's the point of wording it that way
Reply
FmyLifeInsurance
| 1
Apology accepted?
Reply
beanterboss1
| 0
1. Make me laugh
2. U have the best birthday ever
2. U have the best birthday ever
By
12vballchick12
| 5
I love the wording to this FML! "My daily offer of turd on the porcelain throne..."
Reply
bearnblue
| 0
The ants emerged.. Very visual you should be a writter!
Reply
SmoshFan6
| 0
Anyone else feel a tingle on their leg while reading this FML?
Reply
unitedfan11
| 0
I wish my toilet looked like a porcelain throne : (
Reply
m16agent
| 3
Clearly the porcelain gods were not happy with his offering
Reply
CookieGirl4ever
| 13
It's just so poetic... :)
By
aFreedom127
| 9
They were coming to collect the offering.
Reply
DrMime
| 10
Pfft, turd? The gods demand blood!!!
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eternalkaos
| 7
Ewwww
Reply
kooochris1995
| 14
^ your.....pic.....has.....me..... Speechless!!!!!
Reply
Michaelsgirl04
| 9
Really? Because her pic has me running to hide my $1 bills
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deadman93
| 7
wait blood from anywhere? or the poopshoot?
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GVirdi
| 11
I thought the grasshoppers collect the offering? (bugs life reference)
Reply
Incredibly_Dope
| 0
Give it to the high and might king ant
By
sydie5
| 12
They were just coming to make their offering as well, no need to be frightened!
By
Goatinsfriend
| 8
I would freak out as well.
Reply
SaMmIMonster96
| 6
That makes two of us :[
Reply
ydi_4_suking
| 20
I guess 3 of you cuz OP freaked out to
By
perdix
| 29
Eat more fiber. The god was not pleased with your offering.
Reply
alexup24
| 13
Af least OP didn't drop their phone in
Reply
coried91
| 28
85- I thought that's what the FML was going to about when I first started reading it..
Reply
toxicpinkcandy
| 10
Lmao (:
Reply
Ghouly_fml
| 7
*Epic Announcer Voice* Just when you thought it was safe to sit on the
"Porcelain Throne"
Duh Duh Duh!
"Porcelain Throne"
Duh Duh Duh!
By
bigredmonkeybutt
| 25
If the log rolls over we'll all be dead.
Reply
GracesDelirium
| 9
That song was the first thing I thought of. HAHAHA.
By
Chixken
| 6
I would have freaked out too If that happened to me.
By
Morgannnnuhhh
| 1
That sounds like a horror movie....terrifying.
Reply
jbloogle
| 10
At least ants are mostly harmless, it could of been worse. O.O
Reply
Morgannnnuhhh
| 1
Haha, yeah. Coulda been snakes, or spiders.
Reply
kenttpt
| 0
Unless they are fire ants
Reply
ohboyfml22
| 0
Or cockroaches ..
Reply
deadman93
| 7
or velvet ants or least thats what we called em in oaklahoma. fuckers stings were apparently so terrible youd be on your knees instantly