Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML
Today, I was relaxing in my dark, silent living room when I started hearing creepy, repeated sounds. It took me a while to realize those were the chickpeas I had left to swell up overnight in a glass container on the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML
Today, I moved into my brand new apartment, only to discover that there is an annoying, constant hum coming from the ceiling above my bed. FML
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML
Today, I realized that my new house is next to an elementary school playground. I figured this out after I kept hearing loud high pitched screaming when the kids had recess from inside my house. My sensory issues are already thanking me. FML
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Hey, you could always get into his room and multiply... a lot. (;
elliebutton 0
There is some science thing involved with chirping crickets.. To convert cricket chirps to degrees Fahrenheit, count number of chirps in 14 seconds then add 40 to get temperature. Example: 30 chirps + 40 = 70° F To convert cricket chirps to degrees Celsius, count number of chirps in 25 seconds, divide by 3, then add 4 to get temperature. Example: 48 chirps /(divided by) 3 + 4 = 20° C Anyway, fyl.
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Comments (40)
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh well. The worst part is just that they might get on your bed, or they'll leave their carcasses all about. Crickets aren't so bad.
lomzac10 0
Lol, I know what u mean. My little brother, (who I share a room with) keeps crickets to feed to his leopard geckos. Because he refuses to be careful when hes feeding them, a few always get out, and I repeatedly find them all over the house... Also, they get REALLY noisy when they're breeding...
homedoggieo 0
Well he could always get crocodiles to take care of the monkeys.
DeadMansCrack 4
Damn.Foiled again! I'll get you next time. -Mr. Cricket.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The use of "realize" annoyed me too.
epicwinmaster 0
i moderated this
parallel 0
don't care
jess09_fml 0
FAKE if you're a grown woman living alone in an apartment building how did your brother manage to get his crickets in there? were you having him over to stay and he just brought them? wouldnt you be more careful then?
neonoodle 0
#22 Who said she was a grown woman living alone? Not everyone lives in a house and some families live in apartment buildings.
YelloAsylum 0
Who said she was a grown woman?
irokyoursox 6
um no this person was from NY a lot if families live in apartments
sarah2144 14
Gotta say FYL big time, because if this happened to me... yeah. I don't want to picture that.
GreenMeanie 0
you better be beating the shit outta that little pisshead....
kratos194 0
LMAO that sucks for you