Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
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Top comments
jackii1313 9
Try keeping the noise level down next time? At least you weren't rude to your girlfriend and checked your phone.
Bekll 31
Now all your friends know too. Well, time to unfriend mom.
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Comments (65)
HITide76808 0
LOL. Shes just excited that your finally getting some :)
InfinityCross 1
Oh the power of facebook.. :)
SilentTreatment 7
All that matters is that you accomplished the mission and got laid. Ma is just hatin.
tygerarmy 35
That's awesome! Considering it could have gone so much worse, she could've come in your room, kicked your girl out and called her parents. Instead all she did was tell you to tell your girl to keep it down. Instead being embarrassed be thankful.
chickenpie90 16
OMG hahahaha
Okayitwasme 0
Ha ha you deserved it! If you can't be on your own, respect your parents home. No parent wants to hear their kid have sex! It's rude to post on face book, discretion would have been better on both parties.
M3loni 0
Time to get your own place...
sepi_68_fml 4
Lo0o0L! Mothers and facebook these dayz :D
luckoirish14 6
Cheers!! Well done!!
captainfalcon7 0
I'm guessing you just got louder
Okayitwasme 0
I bet they were and he finally picked up his phone and then went RED! Lol