Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.
DKjazz 20
Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.
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Comments (175)
maddonkey 3
didnt ur eye burn????
Dajucy1 7
What a stupid comment -.-
PiErC3 0
since when does a tongue make ur eye burn
RaquelW 7
ACID TONGUE
Pandacupcakelove 26
72- who knows? Have you ever had a tounge in your eye?
nikkinik63 1
I am so doing this to my boyfriend asap! He's a dairy farmer, so it makes it a little bit funnier to me :)
FatTony2010 4
She's a keeper ;)
yuzuhere 21
I wonder how your eyeball tasted.
Pebbles89 9
Salty? Maybe? Lol.
yahoowizard 16
We eyeball virgins shall never know the taste of an eyeball.. Or can we change that
gntfmlingnow 12
I would assume it tastes like years. So salty water
Grimmerie 31
This sounds exactly like my girlfriend and I. She once licked my eyeball while we were out to dinner with a bunch of friends. It was gorgeous.
Pixxio_O 11
I'm sure it was a beautiful experience for the both of you, this story that you've shared with us today is causing me to tear up..
Llama_Face89 34
I like turtles...
jannielovesjack 0
I bet all your friends were jealous of you. They too probably teared up.
BingleBop 18
Awesome person! You should also be flattered that she even wanted to taste your eyeball :)
prettygirl222 1
Eww get a new gf
manatees_r_epic 0
Bitch GTFO.
jannielovesjack 0
Eww get a new sense of humor.
valdezadair 0
Your a starburst. Seeing as to how your profile name is PrettyGirl, but you're picture says otherwise. Contradiction.
meowmeowmeow7 2
Stop being such a ****
pinkpixie06 11
Your girlfriend sounds fun. I could never bring myself to lick someone's eyeball and I can't imagine that I'd like having mine licked either. This FML gave me the heeby jeebies!
wittygirl 8
Best FML ever! Your girlfriend is cool lol
Calyx_fml 22
My wife licks my eyeball just to ewg me out. It works every time.