Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML
Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML
Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
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Top comments
Goobian 3
When do you learn that? In grade school? My best friend taught me to shake salt on the grease because salt can't burn so that is how I deal with it or of course a lid or another non flammable cover.
voodootrucker 0
fire department bill WTF? isn't that what taxes are for
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Comments (88)
jcdiva7 0
Duh. Baking soda works
paintmysky 0
Baking soda. -that coming from a 13 year old.
newburton13 26
I knew that at 8 years old. You wife is a dumbass.
MyWorldAway 0
Did you Marry my Best friend from Jr. High. She set 2 Grease fires in my custom kitchen. Literally 2 different times
Daevas 18
And this is why I read FMLs, 1) a good laugh, and 2) so I don't make their mistakes
Cat's Paw 15
I learned that in kindergarten.
zoelog 10
a fire department bill? I'm pretty sure they don't hand out bills on the scene.