Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML
Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML
Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
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Top comments
Goobian 3
When do you learn that? In grade school? My best friend taught me to shake salt on the grease because salt can't burn so that is how I deal with it or of course a lid or another non flammable cover.
voodootrucker 0
fire department bill WTF? isn't that what taxes are for
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Comments (88)
ChaosFluffy 0
Actually, you can pull out a grease fire with water, Just takes time, 8-10 gallons of water for a medium sized frying pan/skillet, and lots of room for the soon to be 10-12 ft tall flame. I suggest trying this outdoors, not in a kitchen. But it does work.
Emrysa 1
Buy her an emergency bag of kitty litter. It's gonna be cheaper than replacing the extinguisher every time she spills something and lights it on fire.
boatkicker 5
Would kitty litter actaully work on a fire? That sounds genious. Litter is cheap. :)
redbluegreen 41
Keeping litter in your kitchen though? I question what you're baking.
Sevventh 0
And what happens when the fire spreads and you tell your insurance company that instead of paying the $20 for the ABC extinguisher you used some litter to "save money"?
clockworkrainbow 3
What a ditz. Water only makes it worse. Salt helps get the fire controlled. Then cover the pot/pan or whatever with a lid, suffocate the fire. Tell her these things.
evilhobbitofdoom 4
The wife might have known, and just panicked. ALot of grease fires that spread are because people know it in the back of their mind, but when flames pop up, they panic and do the instinctive thing, grab water. As for fire dept. bills, some cities and counties do bill for fires. Usually only for large ones, but, city could be run by moneygrybbing asshats.
akg98 13
AHAHAHAHA asshats... Imma use tht
xoxcinderellaxox 0
ydi.... thats the first thing they teach you in home ec. ur wife's dumb!
pbuk 0
Hope she's better in bed than in the kitchen
shoeaddiikt 0
Perhaps your kitchen-bitch has not yet perfected the art of sandwich making.
DumbStruck79 0
You pay for the firedepartment to come and extinguish a fire?!?
_whatever_77 0
Democrats tax everyone here for everything....and are trying to add more and more and more...but the retards in this country just keep on electing them. I do not know why people in America do not what to actually keep the money they work hard for anymore.
null_fml 11
Comment #31 definitely caused me to "headdesk". Or would have, if my desk weren't messy (wouldn't want to headdesk on anything sharp). So, here's the thing... "whatever"... these taxes you're complaining about. Did you forget that taxes are the exact OPPOSITE of paying by use or by service? Because that's kind of a key detail here. Where exactly did you think money for the fire department comes from if not from taxes or use?
dspadres 0
needs_another_loan....I think "needs_another_wife" is more along your lines.
insolvent 4
You have to pay the firedepartement???? Whee, am I glad I am living in Norway!!!!!